Of Blood and Blondes
by Kei Lawliet
Summary: In a time of war, a ninja and a mage overcome their differences. T for language, shower scene in later chapters, lots of blood and character angst. KuroFai AU
1. Chapter 1: Ninjas and Wizards

Kei: I've been uploading so many fanfictions... I decided to do one that I hadn't finished yet.

Kurogane: Wow, chapters! Who would have ever thought?

Kei: Quiet, Kuro-puu.

Kurogane: Che...

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Chapter One: Ninjas and Wizards

Kurogane swung his sword, mortally wounding another of Ashura's soldiers. Three more ran towards him, and he rid himself of them without flinching. The ninja smirked. They were too easy, but at least there were a lot of them. They had thought they could ambush him when he was alone, but now they found they were horribly wrong. Red eyes shining, Kurogane got himself into a ready pose, adjusted his grip on Ginryu, and unleashed his final attack.

"Hama Ryu-O-Jin!!!"

The remaining soldiers were caught up in the blast. Not one of them had even the time to react. Kurogane glanced around at the crimson-blanketed battlefield and sneered. "Too easy," he growled, "Too easy! If that bastard Ashura is gonna send his lackeys after me, he might as well send some that are harder to defeat!" Sheathing his sword, he turned and was about to head back to the castle when something caught his eye from within the forest. Movement? But he had killed all of the other soldiers. Changing direction, Kurogane headed towards the source of the activity.

Though the sky was dark, Kurogane could still see his surroundings clearly. He could now hear the quiet thumping of footsteps on the forest floor, moving slowly away from him. Something gleamed in the moonlight. Kurogane glanced down at his feet. Blood. But not his, someone else's. Growling, his eyes narrowed. So one of the soldiers had escaped, but not for long.

Somewhere off in the distance there was a soft thud. Kurogane's head shot up, and he ran towards the noise. If that idiot thought he would be able to make it back to Ashura, he was wrong. Skidding to a stop, Kurogane stared at the sight that met him.

Well, it certainly wasn't one of Ashura's warriors. Someone, he wasn't sure if it was a guy or a girl, was slumped against a tree, bleeding freely. Wait, it was a guy. He didn't have boobs. Silken blonde hair covered most of his face, but as Kurogane looked closer he saw that the man had an eye patch covering his left eye. Wincing, Kurogane involuntarily gripped his own fake left arm, made by the Celes wizards before the war. The man was wearing a long fur-lined white and blue coat, a high-collared shirt with tail-coats and closed clasps, and black pants. And he was _pale_, the dark blood accenting his features even more. It was a direct contrast to Kurogane, who was dressed in black and red, his tan skin covered with the blood of others.

Kurogane kneeled down closer to the blonde. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to have fainted. If he didn't have medical attention, he would probably die. Tomoyo-hime would probably find out, she always did, and then she wouldn't be happy. She had always hated the death of others, even if they were the enemy. Scoffing, Kurogane lifted the blonde man onto his back, and headed off towards the castle.

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Kurogane: The hell? That was short.

Fai: Don't worry, Kuro-daddy! There's still more!

Kurogane: Dammit, mage!

Kei: I'm uploading a few chapters, so don't worry! You'll have plenty to keep you busy, and I'll update often!

R&R for a cookie?


	2. Chapter 2: Blue and Red

Kei: Thank you for reading! I know the chapters are short, but I'll write and update often. I've usually got a few chapters in advance, so no worries

**Disclaimer: **Must I say it again? I don't own Tsubasa.

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Chapter Two: Blue and Red

Kurogane had felt compelled for whatever reason to sit beside the man as Sakura tried to heal him. Sakura had been found in a somewhat similar situation by Tomoyo, without a memory of what had happened before she was found. She seemed skilled in medicine, so Tomoyo-hime had appointed her as a healer. Kurogane hoped that the blonde would remember what had happened to him, because he wanted to find out what the hell would have happened where the man would have been wounded so badly.

Sat on the table next to him was a grey stuffed dog with one eye. Apparently it was the only thing that had been found with the blonde besides the clothes on his back. What he carried around that thing for was beyond Kurogane, but Tomoyo-hime stopped Kurogane from throwing it away for fear it would "offend their guest". Like he cared.

He must have fallen asleep, because when he woke the lanky man was resting in bed, his shirt off and chest bandaged. There were bandages covering his eye where his patch had been, as well. Kurogane frowned. Something about this man seemed to set him on edge. The muscles in his left arm tensed. He didn't like it.

"I'm proud of you, Kurogane. To think that you would save someone's life instead of ending it."

Kurogane turned to see Tomoyo-hime standing in the entrance of the sliding door, Sakura standing beside her. She smiled at him and he turned away, making an irritated noise in his throat. "Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Dammit, he could never look her face to face without her teasing him. She was the only one he could never bully.

"Sakura brought a salve to rub on his wounds when he awoke, but he seems to enjoy his rest," Tomoyo said, "Would you mind doing that when he wakes?" Kurogane grunted. Taking that as a yes, Sakura came forward and handed the jar to him. "Ano, when you rub it on his wounds, don't use too much otherwise it'll be painful, Kurogane-sama," she stuttered. Sakura was usually quiet, and even more so when Kurogane was around. Kurogane looked up at the short-haired brunette, nodded, and turned back to face the blonde again. Both left, leaving Kurogane alone with the man.

A few minutes later the blonde began to stir and his one eye fluttered open. He looked over at Kurogane, staring at the tall man for an unnaturally long time. His gaze wandered to the ninja's arm and his eye narrowed. Kurogane looked away. "You're awake, then?" There was no answer. Kurogane looked at his reflection in the mirror across the room. His black spiky hair was matted with blood, as was his black cloak and armor. Ruby eyes glared back at him. It was no wonder the man was staring. Finally, Kurogane heard the man's voice speak quietly.

"Who...?"

It was no more than a whisper, but it got Kurogane's attention well enough. His red eyes snapped back to stare into the man's shocking blue one. Somehow, in that one second Kurogane saw a whole world of things when he looked into that eye. "K-Kurogane," he answered, realizing how nervous he seemed to sound. "Who are you?" he asked, more gruffly than before.

"Fai," he said, his voice raspy, "Fai D. Flowright." The man, Fai, smiled weakly at Kurogane. "Nice to meet you, Kuro-black." Kurogane twitched. Kuro-_what_? Resisting the urge to smack the damn blonde, he pulled back the blankets to uncover Fai's chest. "Can you sit up?"

Fai nodded and sat up slowly, wincing in pain. Kurogane unwrapped the bandages and grabbed the jar of salve. His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at the pale chest. Fai had deep gashes all over his chest and back, one dangerously close to his heart. His arms were covered in scratches and bruises. At the very least Sakura had washed all of the blood off. Sighing in disapproval, Kurogane began to rub the salve into the wounds. The pale skin felt cool beneath his hands, the slender body shivering at his slight touch.

Fai looked up into Kurogane's eyes. His brow was furrowed slightly in concentration, the red eyes pondering. Fai flinched. The medicine was beginning to take its effect, stinging the wounds as it healed. But all things that healed had to hurt.

Kurogane's hands soothed him, massaging his back and chest, easing away the pain as he began to drift off into sleep again. Suddenly the relaxing motion stopped, and Fai glanced back up to see Kurogane replacing the lid on the jar and wiping his hands off with a towel. Red eyes met his. "So," he said, picking up a roll of fresh bandages and re-wrapping Fai's wounds, "what were you doing there? Did Ashura's soldiers want something to do with you?" Fai flinched at the name, and he knew Kurogane had seen it, because his eyes narrowed. Fai closed his good eye, opened it again, and looked at the tall man.

"Ashura's soldiers are after me. They want to use my powers to fight against Nihon and the Suwa. I can use magic," he explained at the quizzical look on Kurogane's face, "But I didn't want to use it to fight. You know about the Suwa, right?" Kurogane grinned evilly. "Course I know about the Suwa. I was born there. Suwa no Kurogane is my full name, and it's a good thing you didn't fight with them, because if you did, you'd be dead right now."

Fai laughed for a moment, forgetting the pain. He was silent for a minute, and then turned to face Kurogane again. "But if you're Suwa no Kurogane, aren't we in Suwa right now?"

Kurogane's eyes clouded over, hiding the pain inside them. "You wouldn't have heard, being on the run, would you? Suwa..." he paused, "Suwa was destroyed by Ashura's demons. I'm the last of the people who lived there." Fai's eyes widened in shock. "I... I'm sorry, Kurogane," he whispered, instantly feeling bad for asking. "Don't be," Kurogane answered, shrugging, "I'm not one to brood too much about the past." Fai looked down at his hands.

An awkward silence ensued, and after a while Kurogane stood, turning to face the door. "Get some sleep," he muttered, walking out and sliding the door shut. Fai sat still, and in the dim light of the candles a sad smile played about his face.

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Kei: Kinda depressing chapter. Ah well, what can I do? The next one is pretty funny. 


	3. Chapter 3: Mages and Mischeif

Kei: I'm uploading a lot!

Kurogane: Three chapters doesn't count as "a lot".

Kei: Urusai, Kuro-chan... T.T

**Disclaimer:** And again, I do not own Tsubasa.

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Chapter 3: Mages and Mischief

A few days later Fai had been able to get out of bed, fully recovered. He had healed surprisingly fast, considering how deep the wounds had been. And even more amazing was that not one of the injuries had left a scar on Fai's milky skin. He was flexing his limbs and as fit as the rest of them by the end of the day was out.

Of course, that didn't mean Kurogane was especially happy about it.

Tomoyo-hime had given Kurogane the task of managing the blonde man. And that damn mage was more than just a handful. On the first day after his recovery he somehow managed to get himself stuck up in a tree, and was mewling like a lost kitty until "Kuro-savior" had rescued him from the top branches. His second day of freedom had resulted in the complete destruction of the kitchens while attempting to bake a "chocolate cake" or something like that. Apparently it was a big hit in the country he came from, but Kurogane couldn't understand why anyone would enjoy eating an exploding dessert. The third day was a complete fiasco, driving Kurogane to the point where he chased the mage around the castle grounds waving his sword at him. "I didn't mean to blow up the training hall!" Fai had shouted, ducking as Kurogane made an attempt to slice the blonde's head off, "I've never even heard of a bomb before! How was I supposed to know it would explode?" And then there were those god-dammed names.

Most people politely addressed Kurogane as "Kurogane-sama" or "Kurogane-san", but not the mage, oh no. It was always "Kuro-black" or "Kuro-wan" or, kami save him, "Kuro-woof-woof". And when asked for an explanation, Fai would always reply "Kurogane doesn't sound cute enough!" As if he wanted to sound cute. It was so... so... ugh.

About two weeks later Kurogane wandered through the streets of the city, sweaty and tired from the battles with Ashura's men. 

His left arm was sore and throbbing, it had been ever since the first night he saw the mage, but it was worse. Maybe it was malfunctioning. The sooner he got to the castle, the better. Although he liked fighting, the city seemed to be threatened more than ever, Ashura's men attacking with more vigor ever since Fai had appeared. It was troublesome. 

"Kuro-pii!" Kurogane heard the dreaded voice calling for him, and tried in vain to ignore it. The mage ran smiling up to his side, tilting his head slightly and widening his eye in surprise. "Uwaa, Kuro-doggy looks so exhausted, what happened?" Kurogane grunted and turned away, hoping to give the man a hint, but to no avail. Fai just jumped in front of him, causing Kurogane to halt to a stop. "Kuro-run needs to relax! I know a place where he can rest! Let's go!"

Before Kurogane could even begin to contemplate what the hell the mage was saying, said mage had grabbed Kurogane by the hand and was pulling him off through the city. "O-Oi! Let go of me, teme!" Kurogane shouted as passers-by stopped and stared. A small group of women covered their mouths with their kimono sleeves, obviously giggling at the odd sight of the lanky man dragging along one of the most feared ninja in all of Nihon without any fear himself.

The ninja fought most of the way, but gave up eventually, realizing that Fai had his heart set on showing him whatever it was Fai wanted to show him. When he had calmed down a bit, Kurogane took in his surroundings. The mage was leading him towards the south entrance of the city, the entrance closest to the forest. Kurogane had no idea what the wizard would want to show him that he had probably seen already. After Tomoyo-hime had taken him in he had spent many a day training in that forest, and he knew it as well as the blade of his katana. But he might as well humor Fai. It was even worse when the man was sad or lonely.

Fai led him out the south gate and into the forest, making complex twists and turns through the forest, Kurogane thought, just to annoy him. They had been walking for at least fifteen minutes now, and the sun was setting. Strangely enough, Fai had not said a single word since they had left, just carried on with a determined stride. Kurogane had also realized that Fai had not let go of his hand, either, but instead of pulling away let himself be led on by the blonde. He just didn't want Fai to get lost, it didn't mean anything beyond that. But Kurogane could feel his face growing warmer in the dim light.

The sun had set now, and only moonlight lit their way. Kurogane was becoming irritated now. He should have reported back to Tomoyo-hime ages ago, and he was letting this idiot drag him along to a place he probably didn't even want to see. "Oi, baka mage," he growled, "Aren't we there yet? Where could you be taking me that's so important?"

There was no reply at first, but just as Kurogane was about to open his mouth to ask again, Fai stopped. They were at the entrance of a cave. "We came all this way to stare at a stupid cave?" Kurogane snarled, now very annoyed. Fai giggled. "No, Kuro-silly. It's what's _inside _the cave that's special. Come on!" Kurogane sighed and followed Fai into the opening.

The inside of the cave was very small, with moss blanketing the walls like a thick carpet. Fai skipped over to a corner of the cave and lifted the moss, revealing a small passageway. "After you." Fai grinned.

Kurogane crouched down and started to crawl through the passage, Fai close behind. The tunnel was cramped and the ceiling sloped further on, forcing Kurogane to crawl on his hands and knees. Squinting, he could see a dim light at the end of the warren, growing brighter and brighter. "Faster, Kuro-slow!" Kurogane heard the mage urging him on. He obliged, almost at the end of the tunnel.

Emerging from the passage, Kurogane stood up straight, his eyes widening at the sight that beheld him.

He was standing next to an enormous lake inside one of the mountains that surrounded the forest. Bamboo reeds stretched up towards the top of the cavern, which was lit by glowing rocks and moss. Fireflies hovered over the glistening lake like stars, and in the middle of the lake was an island of reeds and lush trees. The air was crisp and cool, and through a hole in the top of the cavern the full moon shone down on the crystal water. Kurogane could only stare in awe as Fai stood beside him, smiling and obviously very happy with his friend's reaction.

"Hyuu, what do you think, Kuro-hansamu?"

Kurogane looked into Fai's good eye, the moon reflecting in the pale blue. He smiled.

Fai's eye widened in shock, a blush rising in his cheeks. "Kuro-sama..." Kurogane looked away, a blush forming its way across his face as well. No, it wasn't. He did not blush. Kurogane rubbed his neck, embarrassed. "Er, well, I mean..." But he was promptly interrupted when Fai tackled him with a hug.

"Kyaa! Black Puppy smiled at me!! I'm so happy!" Kurogane struggled to unlatch the hyperactive man from around his neck.

"Shut up, mage! Get the hell off of me and stop calling me those stupid names!"

"Okay, Kuro-sweet!"

"SHUT UP!"

Half an hour later Fai was fast asleep on the shore of the lake, Kurogane's cloak covering him so he wouldn't catch cold. Kurogane lay down beside him, hands behind his head, staring up at the shining rock. Fireflies hovered nearby, landing on the mage's frail body and flying off again. Fai had been right, it was relaxing. Kurogane's eyelids were heavy, and he felt himself drifting off. The ninja stole one more look at the mage. His pale skin glowed in the moonlight, blonde locks swept haphazardly across his smiling face, even as he slept. When the image was locked safely away in his mind's eye, Kurogane let himself drift off into sleep.

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Kurogane: I am not that sappy! 

Kei: Sorry, sorry. I've just always imagined you doing something like that. A little OOC. Actually, it's probably really OOC.

Fai: I think it's cute!

R&R Please! For ice cream?


	4. Chapter 4: Illness and Remedy

Kei: I had to re-upload this chapter... I was re-reading my story to edit it and I saw a really big mistake -laughs- It's not much of an edit, only one word, but it makes all the difference.

Kurogane: Wow, you're an idiot. Good thing you're not publishing this as a book.

Kei: ...Shut up.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except the insane ideas that come out of my head.

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Chapter Four: Illness and Remedy

"Ahh... ahhh... kbpth!!"

Kurogane stopped his sneeze for about the thousandth time that morning. Fai was instantly at his side. "Kuro-myu, are you feeling sicky?"

"No, I'm not feeling 'sicky'. It's just a sneeze. And what the hell have I said about my name?! It's Kuroga-... ahhhh... CHOO!" Kurogane doubled over as he failed to stop the sneeze this time.

Fai began to giggle. "Okay, Kurogahchoo! If that's what you want me to call you, then I will."

Kurogane glared at the magician, sniffling. "You know that's not what I meant, bastard. It's Kurogane. Ku- ro- ga- ne!" he said, an accent on each syllable.

Fai grinned at the tall man. "That's all good and well, but Kurogahchoo should be getting his rest if he's ill. Does he want me to make some tea?"

Kurogane agreed, against his better judgment. "Whatever," he sighed, "I'll be in my room, then."

Kurogane watched as the mage pranced off towards the kitchens, and then headed down the hall to his room. He sighed in relief as he slid open the door and was greeted with the familiar dim lighting of his room. Black curtains let only a small amount of light into the rather large room, the black carpeting and furniture blending into the shadows. He sat down on one of the cushions in front of the low table in the center of his room, resting his head on the table top. Dear kami, he was so tired. Ever since Fai had entered his life, he had become exhausted easily just dealing with the man. And his reputation as someone to be feared was crumbling, Tomoyo-hime was telling everyone how he was just a softie underneath. It didn't really help that he was usually seen with the mage dangling off his elbow nowadays, either.

The ninja stifled another sneeze and glanced at the door. How long did it take to make tea, anyway? Fai had probably managed to flood the kitchen with it somehow. Sighing, he buried his head in his arms again. There was a knock on the door, to which the muffled reply came. "Mmmph."

Fai entered, carrying a tray with a teapot and teacups. "Tea's ready, Kuro-nemo! Sorry it took so long, I had to get help making it." He placed the tray down on the table and poured the tea. Beaming with delight, he handed Kurogane a cup. "Drink up, Kuro-tan."

_It isn't actually half bad, _Kurogane thought as he took a sip. Mint tea wasn't his favorite, but it tasted different from when Sakura made it for him. Whatever Fai had done to make it taste like this was a good choice.

He took another sip and set it down lightly on the table. Fai was watching him, curious as to what he thought. "How is it, Kuro-sama?" he asked, relieved that Kurogane hadn't spewed it all over the table in distaste, as he found the man usually did when faced with any food or drink that had an odd flavor.

Kurogane nodded. "It's good... thanks.." Fai practically lit the room with his smile.

Both sat silently in the semi-darkness, occasionally lifting their cups to their lips to take another drink. Kurogane was amazed that the blonde could stay silent for this long, usually he would be chatting away with anything that moved. But the man had a strange look on his face, one Kurogane had never usually seen him with. The look in his eye seemed distant and sad, as though remembering something long gone. Kurogane recognized it as the same one he had worn after his parent's death. His thoughts were interrupted by a quiet voice, alien to his ears. It sent chills up his spine, and his left arm tensed again.

"I used to make this tea for my brother before he died... I'm glad to have found somebody who will drink it with me again." Fai's voice had changed considerably, as though it was one of another person. It held pain, suffering, and Kurogane wanted nothing more to soothe the pain away. To hold him and tell him that it was alright. But what could he do, when he had turned against his own emotions long ago?

"Mage..."

Before he could even think about what to say to the man, Fai had stood. Taking one last sip of tea, he set his cup down on the table and began to walk out the door. He smiled painfully back at Kurogane, who had a look of similar pain and concern on his face. "Get well, Kuro-sama."

And he was out the door, leaving Kurogane alone with his own troubled thoughts.

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R&R Please! I love the reviews of happy readers DIE FLAMERS! -waves around machine gun-


	5. Chapter 5: Dreams and Memories

Kei: I apologize for the lack of updates. Schoolwork is determined to drag me to an early grave -sob- Another short chappie, so I'm uploading two this time!

**Disclaimer:** I give all credit to the fabulous team of CLAMP. Without them, we would have no story.

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Chapter Five: Dreams and Memories

He was running. Not from anyone in particular, just running. Snow covered the ground, sparkling and pure. People passed by him, talking and laughing,. He was looking for someone, but he couldn't remember who. A soft voice called his name, and he turned, his eyes scanning the crowd until they rested on the sight of his mother. She beckoned for him, and he ran towards her, burying his face in the folds of her soft white cloak.

"Think fast, Yuui!"

He turned just in time to receive a snowball in the face. Shock reflected in his face as he stared into icy blue eyes exactly like his own. The other's face was flushed with cold, his blonde mop of hair wet from the snow. The other looked exactly the same, from his eyes to his blue cloak.

"Fai, that was mean!" he said to the culprit, although he said it with a grin.

Fai grinned back. "Yuui is too scared to throw one back!" Fai sang, dancing in the snow. Grinning, he bent over and scooped up a handful of snow. "Oh yeah?"

The townspeople laughed at the sight of the two young boys chasing each other, throwing snowballs and taunting the other.

The scene faded...

He was standing next to his father now, inside a palace of sliding doors. Or at least he thought it was a palace. It didn't seem as big as the ones in Celes. His father was speaking with someone wearing strange clothing, but he wasn't paying much attention to them. He wondered where his mother and Fai had gone off to... Slipping away silently, he walked down the narrow hallways. This place was a maze, not like home. He wandered for about five minutes before finding himself outside in one of the gardens. Fai and his mother were no where to be seen.

Panicking, he began to run. The garden was just as much as a labyrinth as the castle had been, though. Before long he had absolutely no idea where he was, or the way back to the castle. Tall bamboo reeds obscured his vision, the only thing he could see when he looked up was the stars in the sky. He heard the sound of rushing water, and frantically began to sprint towards the source.

He was suddenly in front of a small waterfall. Man-made, he could tell. The water collected in a small pond at the bottom of two carved dragon stones before being led off into a trickling stream.

But something else caught his eye. A young boy with black hair was sat at the pond's edge.

Hoping he could slip away unnoticed, he backed away slowly, but it was too late. The boy had turned, and was now staring at him. His eyes were a fiery red, widened in surprise. Shaking his head, blonde hair flowing, he opened his mouth. "S-sorry..." he began, his vision becoming blurry as tears threatened to fall. Why was he crying?

The boy's eyes widened in shock as the tears ran down his face. He stood up and ran over to him. "Don't cry! What's that matter, did I scare you?" He shook his head, sobbing harder. "M-mom and Fai," he hiccupped.

The boy seemed upset at his tears. "Please don't cry!" he begged, "Here, I'll even give you Canis!" Something was thrust into his hands. He looked down. In his hands was a grey stuffed dog with floppy ears and a missing eye. He hugged it tightly and looked into the boy's eyes. "Thank you."

"It's nothing, you seem to need it more than I do," the boy said, blushing, "It gets crowded in the palace when we have visitors, it's hard to find people. You're from Seresu, right? I think that's how you pronounce it, anyway."

"Celes," he said, "But I like how you say it better. Seresu. Seeereesuuuuu." He held out each vowel, enjoying the noise it made. The boy laughed. "You're really weird," he said, "Oh, but that's a good thing, I like you! What's your name?"

"It's Yuui! What's yours?"

"Kurogane!"

He giggled. "Nice to meet you, Kuro-black!"

The scene swirled and faded once more.

The rest was a blur. He sat beside a young boy's bed, crying. Blood turned the pure snow a deep red. There was a tower, tall and foreboding. A warm hand, a smiling face. He twirled his staff, a whirl of magical power rising up. When it died down, he saw a man wearing a monocle. Evil smiles that plotted evil things. That same smiling face turning to a stare of indifference, warm eyes growing cold. A flash of light, a pain in his left eye. Fleeing from a place once loved. Blood covered the snow again as two countries battled. Demons and magic and swords. A tall figure stood before him, wearing a cloak black as night...

"My name is Fai. Fai D. Flowright."

Fai awoke, his forehead beaded with cold sweat. Sitting up in bed quickly, he glanced around the room. The surroundings had become familiar to him, but now he ached for the warmth of his own bed, in his own country, everything as it had once been. Before the war.

Standing, he strode silently over to the window. He looked up at the moon, crimson red, as though the blood from the battlefield had seeped into the skies.

Tears slid down his face, each one for a memory of long ago.

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Kei: So I'm all depressed now... I've got about a million ideas for fanfics, all of them KuroFai (obviously) I'm going to have to make time to write this and the others at the same time.

R&R Please! Gods of Yaoi will shine down upon you if you do!


	6. Chapter 6: Battles, Stuffed Animals and

Kei: Whoohoo! Another one! I'm so happy -smiley-

Fai: -claps hands-

**Disclaimer:** I didn't write it, I swear! Don't hurt me!

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Chapter Six: Battles, Stuffed Animals, and a Bento Box

Battles became more and more frequent as time passed, and Fai found himself growing increasingly bored. Kurogane was never around anymore, and though he could amuse himself baking and thinking up new names for his number one ninja, Fai was always distracted by the absence of the tall man. Sakura-chan was fun to hang out with, and he could always talk to Tomoyo about anything, but it wasn't the same. So one night, when Kurogane had returned from patrol, Fai confronted him.

"Kuro-fluff?"

"What?" Kurogane was to tired to even care about the way Fai had butchered his name. Again.

"I want to go with you the next time you're on patrol."

"Sure that's... wait, _what_?"

Kurogane stared at the mage as though he had suddenly sprouted tentacles out of his head. Maybe he hadn't heard him correctly.

"You want to come with me on patrol."

"Yep!"

"You want to spend the entire day fighting demons and getting covered in blood and guts and sweat."

"Don't you like fighting, Kuro-tsuyoi?"

"Yeah, but..."

Kurogane considered the pros and cons of this suggestion. On the one hand, bringing the blonde mage along on patrol would obviously mean hours of torture and embarrassment, but on the other hand, he might be able to decapitate the blonde and blame it on Ashura's men. Or better yet, they might save him the trouble if they showed up. Unfortunately, the former far outweighed the latter.

"No."

Fai stuck out his bottom lip, pouting. "But Kuro-chuu, I'm so bored! There's nothing to do when you're gone! Pleeeeaaaaaseee?" He clung to Kurogane's arm, whining.

"Fine, fine!" he yelled, irritated, "Just shut up!"

"Yay!"

"I'm going to bed. You get to bed too, or you won't wake up in time."

Kurogane got up especially early in hopes of avoiding the mage and thus hoped to be assigned to a different section, but somehow the damn idiot was up even earlier than himself. Fai was standing right in front of the door to Kurogane's room until he was ready. He skipped and twirled all the way down to the throne room with Kurogane following, already worn out with the overactive man's antics. _Maybe I can take a detour and he won't notice before it's too late,_ Kurogane thought as the mage bounced through the halls singing some stupid song about bunnies and squirrels.

Tomoyo-hime giggled when she saw Kurogane and Fai enter the room. "So, Fai-kun, are you going to patrol with Kuro-chan today so he doesn't get hurt?" she asked innocently. Kurogane smacked his forehead. Now Tomoyo-hime was calling him that. "Yep! It would be terrible if Kuro-daddy got hurt!" Fai said, beaming his hundred-megawatt smile. "_What was that?_" Kurogane barked, unable to control his temper any longer.

Kurogane chased Fai around the room again as Tomoyo went into another one of her fits of "Ohohoho-ing". He never managed to catch the bastard, but Kurogane got some pleasure out of it when Fai promptly ran into Souma, who had just entered the room.

"Oh, Souma, there you are!" Tomoyo stopped laughing to speak to the female ninja. "Can you give these two their assignments, please?"

"Hai, Tomoyo-hime!" she replied, the ever-loyal one. "You two," she scanned the papers she held in her hands, "will guard Section C near the East Gate. We really should send more soldiers, but if Kurogane-sama is there, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"There you have it!" Tomoyo sang gleefully, "You can go now! And Fai?" Fai turned to face her. "Make sure Kuro-inu doesn't get too bored, okay?" Fai bowed and gave a small salute. "Wakarimashita, Tomoyo-hime!"

Fai had certainly taken Tomoyo's words to heart. The entire walk through the city Fai pestered Kurogane with his stupid questions, making up more and more insane nicknames along the lines of "Kuro-kabu, leader of the turnip-heads" and "Kurgy-fluffy-the-ninth-of-the-fuzzy-puppy-dynasty". Kurogane's patience was growing thin. Very thin. Very, very...

"Uwaa! Kuro-koinu! Look at these, they're so kawaii!!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes and looked over at the mage. He was standing in front of a stall with different wares on sale. Walking up behind him, Kurogane looked over Fai's shoulder to see what he was pointing at. Two plush dolls, a black inu and a white neko, were sitting side by side. Both had little red hearts stitched on their bellies, and their paws were sewn together as though they were holding hands. "Can we buy them? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?" Fai begged, looking up at Kurogane with puppy-dog eyes (or eye, however you want to put it).

"What the hell would you want one for?" Kurogane asked, appalled at the thought that people actually bought those kinds of things. True, he had owned a stuffed dog when he was younger, but he was a kid back then. A grown man carrying around toy animals, that was different. Even if it was a deranged psychopath with the mental thought process of a four-year-old. "Besides, I didn't bring money."

The man running the stall smiled warmly at Fai. "You like them a lot, don't you? My daughter made those," he said, picking them up and looking at them with tenderness. Fai smiled widely. "Really? They're very well made! You should be proud!"

His eyes sparkling, the man looked at Fai. "You remind me so much of my daughter! Here, you take them, free of charge." He placed the puppy and kitty into Fai's hands, the latter surprised at the gift. "But you shouldn't give them away for free! I couldn't possibly!" Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Oi, mage, it's a gift. That's the whole point. Come on, we're taking too long, we'll get in trouble." Fai smiled and bowed. "Thank you so much! Is there anything I can do in return?" The man motioned with his hand. "Just promise me this. Come here and I'll tell you."

Fai leaned forward and the man whispered something into his ear. The blonde's cheeks flushed slightly and his eyes widened. Nodding, he went back to stand next to Kurogane. "Okay, I promise I will. Thank you again!" The man just smiled and waved.

Kurogane glanced down at Fai, who was now happily humming a tune. "Oi, what did he tell you to do, mage?" Fai's cheeks flushed again when he answered. "I can't tell you that, Kuro-daiji!" he teased in singsong, "It's a secret! Now let's go, we're too slow!" Fai broke into a run.

"That's what I was trying to-- oh, never mind. Mage! Get back here!"

They made it out the East Gate and into the area where they were on patrol. Fai had finally quieted down, but Kurogane knew that it would be too good to last. With each passing hour of guard duty the hyperactive mage grew more and more restless, and Kurogane knew it was just a matter of time until...

"Kuro-pipi?"

Kurogane flinched at the name. "What?"

"I'm bored."

Sighing, he turned to face the mage. The aforementioned mage was twirling the staff he brought along with him with expert ease, bringing it to rest on his shoulder. "I want to play a game!" he complained, "This is so boring. There's nothing to do!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes for the millionth time that morning. "Patrol isn't supposed to be fun. Just shut up and keep watch."

Fai watched Kurogane for another minute before pulling something out of his cloak. It was the stuffed animals the man at the stall had given them. He played with them, moving their paws and twitching their ears. "I love these toys, they remind me of us! Don't you think so, Kuro-puppy?" Kurogane's eye twitched. There was nothing in the world that he wanted to resemble less. Except maybe the mage. "I don't see it," he grunted.

Dancing in circles around the ninja, Fai held up the pair for Kurogane to see. "But they do! Look, Kuro-wan-wan is the Big Puppy and Fai-mommy is the Big Kitty!"

"I have no intention of being known as 'Big Puppy'. Especially not by you!"

"Hyuu, Daddy-Big-Puppy is being mean!" the mage sang, skipping around Kurogane.

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT!" Kurogane roared, unsheathing his sword, "YOU'D BETTER START PRAYING TO BUDDHA, BECAUSE YOU'RE SO DEAD EVEN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

"Kyaa! Big Inu is after me!"

Kurogane chased after Fai for a full ten minutes, the mage ducking and weaving and dodging every stroke he made with his sword. The blonde man stuck out his tongue and stepped just out of reach as the katana came dangerously close to his head. They were promptly interrupted, however, when a soft voice called out to them.

"Fai-kun! Kurogane-sama!"

Sakura stared at the two men, mortified. Fai skipped over to her and smiled. "Oh, don't worry, Sakura-chan! We were just playing, right Kuro-sama?" Kurogane snorted and sheathed Ginryu. The mage wouldn't call it playing when he found Kurogane's sword sticking out of his gut. "Che."

"So, what is it you request, Sakura-hime?" Fai asked, kissing the back of her hand. Sakura smiled, blushing shyly. "Well, I thought I would bring you both a bento box, if it wasn't too much trouble..." Fai clapped his hands gleefully. "Hyuu, thank you so much, Sakura-chan! Kuro-daddy, look at what Sakura-chan brought for us!" Kurogane turned away. "I'm not hungry." Unfortunately, that statement was betrayed when Kurogane's stomach decided to choose just that moment to growl very loudly. Kurogane looked down, hiding an uncharacteristic blush.

"Haha, Kuro-puu's tummy says otherwise!" the mage exclaimed, winking at Sakura, who giggled, "Let's all eat! You too, Sakura-chan!"

"We don't have time to eat, stupid!" Kurogane barked. "Let's keep moving!"

Sakura and Fai, however, were already sat on the ground, opening their bentos. Kurogane sighed and turned away, but as he did so a pain shot through his left arm, causing him to turn back to face the mage again. His eyes widened in shock. "Mage, look out!"

Sakura screamed. Fai suddenly felt himself and Sakura shoved unceremoniously out of the way. Something warm and damp covered his arm. Blood, but it wasn't his. Fai looked up. Kurogane stood right where he and Sakura had sat just seconds before. The young soldier that had attacked them had managed to escape, but Fai's attention was focused solely on the ninja.

Kurogane was doubled over in pain, a sword impaled into his stomach. Fai stood up slowly, staring at the gaping wound in Kurogane's stomach. Sakura was shocked speechless. "Kurogane..." Fai whispered, his voice breaking.

Grunting in pain, Kurogane pulled the offending sword out of his stomach and threw it to the ground. Without looking once at the mage, Kurogane wiped his sword on his cloak to remove the blood, and re-sheathed it. "Bring Sakura back to the palace," he said, "I'll deal with that soldier and meet you back there."

"No!" Sakura shouted, reaching forward and clinging to Kurogane's cloak, "That's Syaoran-kun! Please, don't kill him! Syaoran..." Her eyes closed and she fell unconscious on the ground.

Kurogane looked into Fai's good eye. The mage was still staring at him. "Please, Kuro-sama," he begged, "Come back, with both you and Sakura-chan hurt..." He couldn't finish his sentence. Kurogane looked at Sakura. "Fine. Let's just hurry up and get back."

They had somehow managed to make it back with Fai both supporting the injured Kurogane and carrying the unconscious Sakura on his back. Help arrived when they made it back inside the gate. One of the soldiers had taken Sakura back to the castle, but Fai flat-out refused to let anyone but himself help Kurogane. Kurogane complained about the help, but his words had fallen on deaf ears. Fai seemed determined to help Kurogane back into the castle.

People fussed over him, healers running in and out of the room. Tomoyo-hime eventually appeared and sent everyone out of the room except one healer, Mokona-chan. Fai paced continuously in front of the door for hours while Kurogane was being treated. How could he have been so stupid and let his guard down? It was his fault Kurogane had been hurt in the first place. And Sakura had said something about a Syaoran-kun. The name sounded so familiar...

"Fai-san?"

The healer, Mokona, was standing in the doorway. She held a roll of bandages and a box of medicines in her hands. Fai looked at her, his eyes pleading. She smiled. "Kurogane-san wants to see you."

Kurogane was sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the ground. He looked up when Fai entered. Fai's blue eye showed anger, concern, before the emotions were hidden once more. He spoke.

"You're an idiot."

"So are you. It's your fault I got hurt, don't blame me."

"Why did you save me?"

Kurogane was taken aback by the question. Why had he saved him? It was like... his body had just moved of it's own accord. He couldn't explain it, but the thought of Fai disappearing from his life was, there was no other word for it, unbearable. "I'm just used to saving you by now," he replied, shrugging. Fai smiled, his first since their encounter in the forest. "I guess Kuro-rin really does care for me!" Kurogane swung his fist at him and missed. "Shut it, mage!" he hissed.

"Aw, Kuro-sweetie is blushing!" Fai laughed. "I've got to go now, Kuro-cute! Here, a get-well gift."

He pulled something out of his cloak and pushed it into Kurogane's hands. Kissing the ninja's forehead, he grinned. "From me to you. In return for your gift. And I've kept my promise, Shopkeeper-san." Before Kurogane could say anything, Fai was out of the room.

Kurogane blinked. In return for his gift? But he had never given anything to the mage. He glanced at what he held in his hands.

He was holding the puppy and kitty, their tails wrapped tight around each other in a warm embrace.

* * *

Kei: I thought this was so cute! I've developed writer's block for the later chapters. It's a good thing I've got chapters in reserve -sweatdrop- 

Kurogane: That's just you being lazy.

Ryuichi: KUMAGORO BEAM! -throws Kumagoro at Kuronwan-

Kurogane: -twitch-


	7. Chapter 7: Catch a Puppy Off Guard

Kei: I have an announcement to make! I made some small changes to chapters two, three and six. They're pretty small changes, but they lead up to something later in the chapters.

Kurogane: -after reading- I don't get how that is so important.

Kei: DON'T JUDGE ME!

Kurogane: -shock-

**Disclaimer:** Tsubasa. Me. Not connected in any way except through this fanfic.

* * *

Chapter Seven: How to Catch a Puppy Off-Guard

"Ugggh..."

Kurogane sat on his bed, rubbing his temples as Fai skipped around the room singing. Nothing, _nothing_, was more torture than this. Tomoyo-hime had insisted Kurogane take time off from patrol so his injury would heal. He was deemed "unfit for duty", which was a load of tripe. It was just a flesh wound. And worse, the mage had insisted on looking after their "big, strong, Kuro-run". Kurogane's room had turned into his own private hell, complete with the devil himself.

"Nee, what's the matter, Kuro-pyu?"

If looks could kill, the mage would have died many times over. "I'm sick and tired of being stuck in this palace, with you of all people! I haven't been able to get a decent battle in edgewise!"

Fai tilted his head. "Kuron-tan wants to spar with somebody?"

"I would, but there's nobody to spar with. Not on my level, anyway."

"Would he like to spar with Fai?"

Kurogane frowned. A mock-battle with the mage? Fai didn't look like the kind of person one would usually see on the battlefield. Fai poked the ninja's cheek. "If Kurgy keeps frowning like that he'll get wrinkles." Kurogane swatted his hand away.

"Fine, I guess you're better than nobody."

"Yay! Let's go, Kuro-pup!"

Some time later both men stood in the training hall, empty except for themselves. Fai was equipped with a quarterstaff, Kurogane with a wooden sword. "Wow! The training hall is really empty!" Fai said in awe.

"Whatever. There are usually more people here, but they're all on duty. Go over to that circle in the middle of the room."

The circle had a circumference of fifteen meters, marked by a white line. Fai and Kurogane stood on either end. "If you're thrown out of the circle, you lose," Kurogane explained, "You're allowed to hit the opponent anywhere you want. Ready?"

Fai smiled. "More than you think."

"Okay then, go!"

Fai ran forward and thrust his staff, Kurogane parrying the attack. The mage's steps were steady and confident, never faltering. He swung his staff with effortlessness, aiming for vital points on Kurogane's body. Kurogane dodged and warded off every one, eyes narrowed and focused. The blonde man had a steady pattern to his attacks, Kurogane noticed. Thrust, slice, step in, sweep. The same basic pattern, over and over. It was too easy to see, as though the smiling man were testing him...

An opening in the mage's attacks suddenly became clear, and Kurogane slashed with his sword, grinning. There was no way Fai could dodge that, they were too close. And his staff was raised in an attacking position, not a defensive one. However, the magician seemed to be expecting the attack. Twirling his staff, he knocked Kurogane's sword out of the way and leapt backwards a few feet. Kurogane did the same.

"Hyuu, that was really close, Kuro-strong," Fai complimented, "It's a good thing I dodged that, it looked like it might have hurt." Kurogane frowned. The mage wasn't using his full strength, Kurogane could tell.

"Oi," he said to the blonde, "Quit playing me like I'm a kid! It's pissing me off!" Fai's smile turned to a sadistic smirk.

"Okay, Kurorin. But it's your turn to attack."

"Fine, I will!" Kurogane shouted, running forward and slicing with his sword.

This time Fai was forced into a defensive position. Kurogane's attacks seemed to have no pattern at all, but reacted to the way Fai moved. Fai's smile fell, replaced by a look of concentration. This was getting troublesome, and he was not one to lose. Nothing he seemed to do seemed to catch Kurogane off guard.

Both men were dangerously close to the line indicating the boundary of the circle. If Fai could only get Kurogane to step back a few paces... Yes. That was it. Fai grinned. This would be amusing.

Fai dug his heel into the ground and thrust his staff horizontally upward, warding off Kurogane's attack. Forcing the ninja's sword to the side, Fai leaned in forward and, grabbing onto Kurogane's shirt for support, kissed the man lightly on the lips.

It took about three seconds for Kurogane to react. He broke away, losing his balance and falling out of the ring. "Wha- what the hell did you just do?!" he yelled, blushing furiously.

Fai laughed and pointed at the embarrassed ninja. "Hyuu hyuu! I caught the Puppy off guard! That's a beautiful shade of red, Kuro-blush!" Kurogane stood, grabbing the wooden sword. "You're dead, mage!"

"Kyaa, the puppy has rabies! He's foaming at the mouth!" Fai laughed at the ninja's expense. Kurogane lifted his sword and was about to attack, but lowered it after a few seconds.

"Whatever," he sighed, "Screw this shit, I'm going to take a shower."

Fai blinked a couple of times, amazed that the tall man didn't seem to be as angry as he thought he would be. He smiled, grabbing Kurogane's arm. "A shower sounds nice! Let's go, Kuro-chuchu!" Kurogane frowned.

"Listen mage. I said that _I'm_ going to take a shower, not _we're _going to take a shower. You can take one after me."

Fai pouted. "But Kuro-wanko! I'm tired, I wanna take a shower too! The shower room is really big, both of us can go!"

"Yeah," Kurogane retorted, "but you'll probably find some perverted thing or another to talk about, I know you. No way in hell your scrawny ass is going to be in the same room as I am when I'm trying to take a shower."

Fai whined and complained, but eventually gave in and agreed to let Kurogane take a shower first. He waited in the changing room as Kurogane stepped into the bath and shower room, a towel wrapped around his waist.

Fai stared at the door and wondered if it had a lock or not...

Kurogane stood in a shower stall and turned the knob, water coming out of the bamboo nozzle above him. The warm water ran over Kurogane's muscular body and down a drainpipe on the floor. Five minutes all to himself, without the mage. No begging, no awkward comments, no nicknames. The best five minutes of his life since the mage had come.

Kurogane looked behind him. He thought he had heard the door open... it was probably just his imagination. Sighing, he turned around and was about to wash his hair when...

"Hyuu hyuu! Kuro-sexy, you have a really nice body!"

"Gahh! What the hell?!"

Kurogane spun around, stopping suddenly when he saw the sight that beheld him. Fai was standing six feet away from him. His slender body was uncovered, revealing pale skin. A towel was wrapped around his waist, but very loosely, and it looked like it might slip off at any second. Kurogane blushed for what seemed the millionth time that week, glad that the bath rooms were steamy, covering and at least his some of his body. He didn't want to know what he probably looked like to the mage.

"YOU! I told you to wait your turn!"

"But I couldn't wait, and the door was unlocked! It's your fault for leaving it open!"

"That door doesn't lock!"

"Oh." Fai blinked. "That might explain it."

"Never mind explaining it," Kurogane growled, "If you're going to take a shower, go over there. I don't want you any closer."

"Okay, Kuro-hottie," Fai said, winking. He went to another stall across the room.

Kurogane waited until he heard the mage turn on the water before going back to his own shower. Dammit, what the hell was that blonde's problem? How could he just come in here when they were both naked and say something like _that_? Kurogane bashed his head against the wall, attempting to get the mental image of a naked Fai out of his head. _We're both guys, for god's sake! _He thought to himself. _No, he doesn't mean anything to me! I don't care about him, I don't..._ Kurogane held his nose as the mental image came up again.

"Kuro-samaaa! If you don't get out of the shower, your skin will get all wrinkly!"

He didn't care about Fai... did he?

* * *

Kei: Yay! I hope you all like it! I'm sorry I couldn't update it sooner, I've had so much shit to work on it's not even funny.

Just one question for Kuro-rin. How did he know Fai's ass was scrawny?

Once again, plz R&R!


	8. Chapter 8: Releasing Tension

Kei: I have been disregarding my duties as a writer! I'm so sorry!

Fai: Well, you have had a lot going on lately...

Kei: That is no excuse! Please forgive me for any misfortunes that my early death may bring! -jumps off of building-

Kurogane: -catches- What the hell are we going to do with you?

Kei: -sniffle-

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except my own perverted ideas.

* * *

Chapter Eight: Releasing Tension

"Kuro-katai, you look tense," Fai said, placing his hands on Kurogane's shoulders.

Kurogane shivered and brushed Fai off of him. "Of course I'm tense. I haven't been able to get out of this stupid place for ages. I need to do something!"

Fai poked the ninja's nose. "A week and a half isn't 'ages'. You're still injured, and stomach wounds are very difficult to treat!" It was true, Kurogane had been taking medicine to help heal his wound, and he still wasn't allowed to do much sparring. The match they had a few days ago had done enough damage. "Well how else am I supposed to stretch out my muscles? I can't even train!"

Placing a finger to his lips in thought, Fai frowned. Kurogane looked away, hiding the pink tinge forming across his cheeks. What the hell was wrong with him? Ever since the shower incident Kurogane had noticed every little thing that Fai did. There was no other way to put it, Fai acted cute sometimes (though the ninja would have committed hara-kiri before admitting to even _thinking_ that). It made Kurogane's stomach twist up in knots.

"Kuro? Kuro-spacey?" Fai was waving his hand in front of Kurogane's face. Kurogane looked at the blonde. "What?"

Fai sighed, exasperated. "I was asking you, would you like me to help relax your muscles?"

Raising an eyebrow, Kurogane thought about it. "What are you going to do?" What Fai said was one thing usually turned out to be another for Kurogane.

"Don't worry, Kuro-cautious. I was only talking about a backrub, nothing bad," Fai said, grinning.

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "A backrub? Did you forget to take your meds this morning? That's stupid." Fai put on a hurt face. "Stupid? That's mean, Kuro-sama! It really works!" Fai grabbed Kurogane's shirt and pulled on it slightly, revealing tan skin underneath. "I'll prove it to you! Take your shirt off and go lie down on the bed!"

"What? No way in hell I'm taking my shirt off, do you know how wrong that sounded!" Kurogane hissed, pulling his shirt down, "I don't need you 'helping' me out just because of a little muscle stiffness!"

"But Kuro-hii, your wound won't heal if you're tense all the time!"

Kurogane rubbed his temples. Now he was getting a headache along with everything else. "Fine," he growled, "Just shut up already."

The mage smiled, obviously happy with himself. "Okay, but you do have to go lie down on the bed. And if you don't take your shirt off I won't be able to give you a good backrub." Kurogane shrugged. "Geeze, you're a persistent bastard, aren't you?" he asked, pulling off his shirt and lying on the bed facedown, "I'm only doing this because you wouldn't stop pestering me if I didn't."

Fai grinned sheepishly. "Ah, you caught me. Was it that obvious?"

"Shut up and give me the stupid backrub."

The blonde man stood next to the bed and placed his hands on Kurogane's back. The ninja's muscles rippled under his touch. Fai shuddered. Kurogane's skin was softer than he would have thought. Moving his hands in small circular motions, the mage began to work the tension out of Kurogane's muscles.

"Kuro-pyuu, I can't work well from the side," Fai said, "Can I get on top of you?" Kurogane turned his head. "Wait, what? I never said-" 

But Fai had already climbed onto the bed and onto Kurogane's lower back. He shifted his hips into a more comfortable position, straddling the ninja. The wizard used the palms of his hands and began to massage Kurogane's shoulders, working the tension out of them. Kurogane's breath caught in his throat. The lanky man shifted his hips again, and Kurogane let out an involuntary moan. Fai chuckled as the man buried his face in his pillow to hide his embarrassment. _I guess there's more than one way to lower his guard._ he thought.

Kurogane's heart was pounding madly in his chest, and he was sure that Fai could hear it. When had he let Fai get so close? They had been strangers until not too long ago, and now the man was sitting on his back, straddling him!

The movement of Fai's hands on his back relaxed Kurogane. He couldn't think straight; his eyelids were drooping and his body grew limp...

Fai felt Kurogane relax under the pressure of his hands. Looking at the ninja's face, Fai saw that he had fallen asleep. "Kuro-rin must have been pretty tired," he whispered to himself.

Kurogane looked so peaceful when he slept. He usually wore a scowl on his face, but now his features softened. Fai's heart skipped a beat. The lanky man wasn't sure when he had started feeling like this. It scared him. He didn't want to get close to anyone else, in the end it hurt too much. But with Kurogane he just couldn't help himself. He was attracted to everything about the ninja. His deep red eyes, the way he blushed when the mage said something to embarrass him, the way he tried to hide the fact that he really was a good person underneath.

The mage leapt off the bed suddenly, shaking his head. He couldn't think like that. If he let anyone else come close like before, it would turn for the worse. 

Fai's heart hurt, like it was being squeezed too tightly. Kurogane was different than everyone else, and Fai wanted nothing more than to stay with him. But he couldn't. His eye began to grow hot and he bit his lip, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. He had to leave, before things got too complicated.

Kurogane slept on as the mage walked slowly to the door and opened it. Fai looked back.

"Goodbye, Kurogane."

* * *

Kei: Yeah, short and sweet, and the whole thing with Fai leaving was kind of spontanious.

Kurogane: Hey, have you seen the mage anywhere?

Kei: ...I plead the fifth.

Constructive critisicm is very much appreciated! Tell me if I'm keeping them in character or not, sometimes I have trouble doing that, especially if it's AU...


	9. Chapter 9: Everything

Kei: Yeah, updates! I love 'em! Long-ish chappie this time. There was so much I wanted to write, but it might have come out a bit rushed -laughs- I just didn't want to keep you all in suspense for too long!

Kurogane: Dammit, mage! Where the hell are you?

Kei: -sweatdrop- And then of course, there's Kuro-mitsu...

**Disclaimer:** If I owned this manga, would I be writing fanfictions about it? Well, maybe, but...

* * *

Chapter Nine: Everything

When Kurogane awoke, daylight was streaming through the window. From what he could tell, it was the middle of the afternoon. He never woke up this late. Groaning, he sat up. "Great," he muttered to himself, "now I'm becoming lazy."

He stood and looked around the room. "_Where's that stupid mage?_ _I would've thought he would've woken me"._ He grabbed some clothes from his dresser, changed, and walked out the door.

He was greeted by Sakura-chan, who had been standing outside of the room. "O-oh, Kurogane-sama," she stuttered, looking up at him, "Eto..."

Kurogane sighed. "What?"

Sakura looked down at her feet. "I was wondering," she continued, "have you seen Fai-san at all today? Tomoyo-hime couldn't find him, and neither has Mokona-chan or Souma-san."

Kurogane's eyes narrowed. The mage hadn't been seen all day? He was usually the center of attention what with all his crazy antics. It didn't seem like Fai to stay quiet. "Maybe he's in his room? He might have fallen asleep."

Sakura shook her head. "No, I looked there already. And he isn't in the kitchens or in the training room or even on the palace grounds," she said, "I'm really worried, what if Fai-san got hurt?"

Now he was sure something definitely wasn't right. Fai wouldn't have gone anywhere without at least leaving some indication to where he was. Kurogane stormed past Sakura, who had a look of concern on her face.

Kurogane came to a halt in front of the door to Fai's room. "MAGE!" Kurogane banged on the door, "Come out! If you're in there, I'm gonna kill you!" He slid the door open roughly, looking around the room. It had a cold, sad feeling. Walking into the darkened room, he looked for any sign of the blonde man. The bed was deserted, everything was back in its original place. Fai was not there.

The ninja somehow couldn't bring himself to accept the idea that Fai had left. "He'll probably be back later," he muttered to himself.

* * *

Kurogane went about his day as usual, not that he had much to do. Everything seemed so much duller since the mage had gone. Kurogane would never had said it aloud, but he was beginning to miss Fai. Fai was happy and bubbly, always smiling no matter what he was doing. Now everything had turned a melancholy shade of blue. It was irritating.

"Dammit!" Kurogane let out a sudden outburst of anger, frightening some of the younger ninja who had been training. Throwing his wooden sword to the ground, he stomped out of the training room, ignoring the stares behind his back.

It was impossible to concentrate. There was no annoying chatter, no inane, random questions being asked. Somehow the silence was even more distracting than the stupid mage was.

Fai hadn't come back yet, and it was almost sundown. He had never been gone this long. Maybe he had returned, but had been too tired to see Kurogane and had instead went up to his room to sleep. Kurogane headed back to Fai's room, hoping to see the mage there.

But the room was still empty. Clenching his fists, Kurogane stepped slowly into the room. He stood next to the bed, devoid of any signs of being used recently.

"FUCK IT!"

Kurogane slammed his fists into the wall. Anger coursed through him. Where the hell did that goddamn idiot go? Why hadn't he told anyone? "You think you can just leave whenever you want, and not even say goodbye?" he shouted aloud, even though he knew Fai couldn't hear him, "You'd better have a damn fucking good excuse, you bastard!"

The ninja was shaking violently, trying to push down all the different emotions that were beginning to surface. He didn't know why he felt like this, but he didn't care. It was like he had been used and tossed aside. Like an old, rusty sword that wouldn't even cut paper.

Something was sat on Fai's bedside table. Kurogane hadn't noticed it before, probably because he hadn't been paying attention. He picked it up. It was the one-eyed dog, the only possession the mage had been found with. Kurogane felt as though it had been used like he had. Something that was no longer needed.

Turning around, Kurogane strode determinedly from the room. He was going to find Fai. He was not going to be left behind.

* * *

Fai wandered through the forest, not sure exactly where he was going. Somewhere where he couldn't be found again. Not by Ashura, not by Kurogane. He wouldn't be found again. He didn't want to be.

Why was it so hard, then, to leave? He had left last night, with plenty of time. However, he had done nothing but walk in circles since he had departed. It was dark again, he should have reached the border by now.

_It's not hard to leave Nihon. _Fai realized. _It's hard to leave Kurogane behind. _It had never been hard for him to move on. He had always done so, drifting aimlessly, never making bonds, never staying in one place for more than a week at most. But this time he had stayed far too long, developed a feeling that he knew would only cause the two of them more pain.

Snapping out of his reverie, Fai looked up. He had ended up in front of the cave he had shown Kurogane. It seemed like so long ago, but it couldn't have been more than a few weeks. Walking into the cave, Fai mentally tallied up the number of weeks he had stayed in Nihon. It had taken him about two or three days to recover. They had gone to the cave almost two weeks after that, and the next day Kurogane had gotten sick. Kurogane's wound happened another week later. That was when Fai had given him the stuffed toy. Laughing, Fai wondered if Kurogane still had that somewhere. He guessed the ninja had thrown it out. Kurogane might have been a special person to Fai, but he was definitely not special to Kurogane. That was why Fai had left.

Fai emerged from the tunnel, brushing dirt from his cloak. He sat down next to the lake, trying to remember everything else that had happened. Kurogane had been stuck in his room about nine days before they had had their little sparring episode. And then there was yesterday.

That made about five or six weeks, almost a month-and-a-half, that he had stayed with Kurogane. He still couldn't believe he had let himself stay in one place that long.

"Strange what this feeling can make people do, nee Kurorin?" Fai asked aloud.

* * *

Kurogane ran through the city, taking no notice of the stares he was getting from passersby. The mage had been on the run before, he probably left places like this without even caring. Thoughts raced through his mind almost as fast as he sprinted through the crowd. Where would that idiot go if he were leaving? Kurogane had found him at the West Gate entrance, maybe he had left that way? But he barely had a clue to how that idiot's mind worked. There was no way he could read his thoughts.

The man that had given Fai the stuffed animals was running his stall as Kurogane ran past. Skidding to a stop, Kurogane turned about sharply. "Oi!"

The man turned to look at him. "Oh, Kurogane-sama! You look like you're in a hurry, what happened?"

"The mage," he panted, realizing just how out of breath he was, "Have you seen him?"

The shopkeeper frowned. "Mage? Oh! You mean that young man that was with you, the one with the eye patch?" Kurogane nodded, too out of breath to speak. "I saw him last night, as I was closing up shop. He was headed toward the South Gate."

"Thanks." Kurogane turned on his heel and was about to start in the direction Fai had gone when the shopkeeper caught his attention again.

"Wait, Kurogane-sama! I'm just wondering... Who did that man give the stuffed animals to?"

Kurogane made an irritated noise. Why did it matter? "He gave it to me."

The shopkeeper smiled and nodded. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find him, then." Scoffing, Kurogane began to run again. This time he headed for the South Gate.

_Why that Gate, I wonder?_ He pondered. _What's that way that would be so special to him...?_ The ninja's eyes widened in sudden realization. So that's where he was! He ran faster, praying that the mage hadn't left already.

* * *

Fai sat at the lake's edge, trailing his gloved fingers through the water. The moon shone and the fireflies had come out again. It looked a lot like that night from three weeks ago; except Kurogane wasn't here. The blonde smiled softly. He would probably never see Kurogane again. It was best for both of them. Nobody would get hurt this way.

He heard movement behind him. Somebody called his name. Standing, his eyes widened in shock as he saw who was there.

* * *

Kurogane stood in front of the entrance to the cave, trying to catch his breath. He couldn't think of any other place the mage might be, if this wasn't it he wouldn't know where else to go. His arm was prickling again, maybe that meant something. Stepping silently into the cave, he moved the moss aside to reveal the hidden passageway and began to make his way through the tunnel. He moved faster than he ever had before, knowing that each second was precious if he wanted to find the mage. The light was growing larger and brighter every heartbeat. Before he knew it he was at the end.

Kurogane stood up slowly, allowing his eyes to get used to the dim light of the cavern. He could see a shape sitting next to the lake. His eyes adjusted more, and he could make out the shape of a person. A person with blonde hair and a blue eye.

"Mage."

Fai stood, not wanting to believe, but wanting so badly for it to be true. Kurogane was standing next to the tunnel leading in and out of the cave. His face held a mixture of different emotions; concern, sadness, anger. "K-Kuro-tan..."

Kurogane walked slowly towards Fai, who did not move. He didn't understand why Kurogane would even care that he left, much less come after him. Nobody should care. Nobody had known Fai long enough to care. Except Kurogane.

The ninja stood in front of him. His red eyes seemed to burn with betrayal at being left behind. He was angry. Fai closed his eye, waiting for the outburst that would come.

Instead, he was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace. Fai gasped. Kurogane was... shaking. But it wasn't because he was angry; it was because of... what? "Kuro..."

"Why did you leave?" Kurogane's voice was heartbreaking to Fai. "Dammit, you just up and left with no warning! Did you just get sick of me? Why?"

Fai's throat contracted and he began to shake as well. "I didn't want to," he whispered, "I had to. Kurogane, I had to..." Kurogane pulled him in closer.

"That's not a reason! You didn't have to leave!" Fai shook his head.

"Kurogane, I had to. I couldn't stand being around you any longer!"

There was a shocked silence. Kurogane pushed Fai away slowly, looking away. Then, "Why?"

"Because... Kuro-rin, it's not for the reason you think! I let myself get too close to you! You coming after me is proof enough. If you stay with me, we'll both be hurt! I don't want that to happen. Kurogane I.... I..."

A silver object suddenly flashed past Kurogane and Fai, barely missing the former. It stuck into a bamboo reed nearby. Whipping around, he turned to face the attacker and shielded Fai with his arm. Fai's eye widened, recognizing the attacker. "It's Syaoran-kun! Kuro-chan, it's the one who attacked us before!"

Kurogane growled. In his haste to find Fai, he had left Ginryu in his room. But even as he tried to think up a strategy, Syaoran had fled, jumping on the bamboo reeds with accuracy and out of the skylight in the mountain.

Kurogane was about to give chase, but Fai held him back. "Don't! Sakura-chan said that Syaoran-kun was a good person!"

"He attacked us! Twice!"

Fai shook his head. "He's long gone, anyway. We should take the dagger back to Tomoyo-hime and see what we can find out by it. Maybe Sakura-chan knows something as well."

Sighing, Kurogane agreed. "Fine. But when we get back that little brat had better have information."

Fai pulled the dagger out of the wounded bamboo reed. "Kuro-mi, that's not very nice! You should be kinder to Sakura-chan!" Kurogane shrugged. "Whatever."

As Kurogane and Fai made their way through the forest, Kurogane remembered something. "You left this behind when you left," he said, pulling something out from his cloak. It was the stuffed dog.

Fai gasped, taking the dog gently out of the ninja's hands. "Kuro-puppy, you brought it with you?"

Kurogane turned his head away. "Yeah. I mean, I guess I thought it was only the right thing to do. It was your only possession..."

"Kyaa, thank you Kuro-nice!"

"Gahh! Get the hell off of me!"

* * *

Tomoyo-hime examined the dagger closely, from the point of the tip to the handle. After a few minutes, she looked up at Kurogane and Fai.

"You said that this boy is one of Ashura's fighters?"

"Yeah. What's your point?"

"This isn't a Celesian dagger."

Kurogane frowned, taking the dagger and examining it. "I can't tell. How do you know?"

"The metal used to make the dagger can't be found in Celes," Fai said, "Also, the markings on the handle are different from Celesian daggers." He traced the handle with his thin fingers.

"So, what kind of a dagger is it, Fai-san?" Tomoyo asked.

"Hnn," Fai frowned, "I would guess... Clow Kingdom."

"Clow Kingdom?" Kurogane narrowed his red eyes. "They're not allied with Celes, are they?"

"No," Tomoyo shook her head, "The sandstorms usually cut off any outside contact with us. The war wouldn't have reached them. But I'm surprised, Fai-san. I wouldn't have thought you would know more about swords than Kurogane here."

Fai bowed. "I appreciate the compliment, but I only know because I've read about them. Kuronpyon... isn't usually the type to read about things like that. He learns from experience."

Tomoyo giggled at Fai's comment as Kurogane shot a scowl at the mage. Both knew how the remark was intended.

"Well, I suppose both of you are tired. Thank you for the information, you can both go," she dismissed them with a smile and a wave of her hand. Both the men bowed slightly and turned to leave the room.

"Hyuu, that was rather exciting, wasn't it?" Fai asked, smiling at Kurogane.

Kurogane frowned. "Don't forget, it was your fault this all happened in the first place."

Fai's smile slid off of his face as quickly as it had come on. He looked down, obviously quite ashamed of himself. "I suppose you're right."

Grunting, Kurogane shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, you're back now, that's all that matters," he muttered under his breath, but the mage heard him.

"Kurotan really does care doesn't he?"

"Che." Kurogane didn't acknowledge the question, but he didn't contradict it either.

"He does! Kuro-pyo is so caring!"

"Oi," he growled, "I never said that, stupid!"

"But you didn't say you didn't care! That means yes!"

"Shut up, no it doesn't!"

They argued all the way up to Fai's room, Kurogane shouting what could only be taken as rude as Fai twisted the ninja's words in a way that only the mage could. Truth be told, both men were glad that things were beginning to revert back to the way they were. It filled up the empty spaces of awkwardness in-between.

Fai opened the door and, stepping inside, proceeded to light the candles in the room. The lanky man's shadow grew distorted on the wall, morphing from one thing to the next and back again. It reminded Kurogane of his own confused emotions. Fai turned around and suddenly his face was all seriousness. As though that conversation before had been an act to cover up what he really meant to say. "Well then?"

Kurogane was taken aback at the question. "Well what?"

"Why did you come after me?"

Kurogane's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you mean 'why'? I was looking for you because you just left. What else was I supposed to do?" His voice was rising, and it was all he could do to stop himself from hitting something.

Fai laughed, a sound that made chills run up Kurogane's spine. "What else were you supposed to do? Forget. Forget about me ever having been here. I'm not somebody you would want to be associated with, believe me. Syaoran-kun has already proven that."

Kurogane snapped. Grabbing Fai's collar, the angered ninja pulled the wizard close. "Yeah, and then what? Shove the memory away? Pretend that this whole thing was just a part of my imagination? Nobody knew where you were! You could have been dead for all we knew!" Fai's face remained blank, but Kurogane could see something stirring in his eye. Biting his lip, Fai looked away from the ninja.

"I don't want you to get hurt..."

"I. Don't. Care," Kurogane growled, leaning in closer, "I don't give a fuck if the whole world is out to get you. I don't care if I get stabbed a million times over, I'm not letting you leave. I care about you too much for that."

"Kuro, you shouldn't-"

"Shut up!"

Before Fai could protest, Kurogane pressed his lips roughly against the mage's. It was a subconscious act on the ninja's part, and it took him a few seconds to fully realize what he had just done. He pulled himself away quickly, glad that the dim lighting of the room hid his flushed features. He turned to leave the room.

Slender arms wrapped around him suddenly, and he froze. Fai buried his face in the folds of Kurogane's cloak as he held the ninja in place. Neither spoke, but Kurogane could hear words radiating throughout the room as though they were said aloud. _Don't leave me here alone._

Hesitantly, Kurogane returned Fai's hug, placing his hands on the mage's slender waist. The wizard looked up at him, his eye pleading.

"Stay with me tonight?"

His voice was trembling, as though he was afraid Kurogane would push him away. The corners of Kurogane's mouth turned upward very slightly. "Sure."

Soon Fai was curled up comfortably underneath the covers next to a shirtless Kurogane. "Kuro-tsu will catch cold if he goes to bed without a shirt on," the man commented, tracing his finger up and down Kurogane's arm.

Kurogane blushed slightly before answering. "I never sleep with a shirt on. It gets too warm and I wake up in the middle of the night steaming in between my own blankets."

"Hnn, I never knew Kuro-chan was so sensitive," Fai purred, wrapping his arms around Kurogane.

"Get the hell off."

"Demo saa, Kurowanko! You said you would sleep with me tonight!"

"Yeah, but I didn't say I'd get all cuddly with you. Stay the hell over on that side."

Fai, however, pulled himself in closer. "But Kuro-pillow is so warm..."

Kurogane glared down at the mage only to find that said mage had fallen asleep. On him. "Tch," he scoffed, "That idiot needs to learn his boundaries." Although he really didn't mind it.

He began to stroke the wizard's blonde hair absentmindedly, thinking. That kiss he had given Fai had only been to silence the mage... right? Half of him wanted to believe that, but a voice in the back of his head said otherwise. So maybe he did care for the mage. But it wasn't like that, the mage was just a little... closer... than anyone else usually was. Just because his heart raced when he looked into the mage's blue eye and the way his voice had an almost melodic pitch to it and how he couldn't stand being without Fai for very long...

It didn't mean anything.

So why did it mean everything?

Closing his eyes, Kurogane calmed himself. He couldn't think about this now, it was far too confusing. He looked down at Fai's peaceful form once more. Even if he did love the mage, he supposed that it wouldn't be too bad a thing.

Kissing the top of the blonde's head lightly, he placed a hand on Fai's slender shoulder and drifted slowly off to sleep.

* * *

Kei: Well, there you go. Fai is found and Kurogane begins to admit how he feels. What more do you want from me? -listens to fangirl squeals- A kiss? I've already had two! -listens again- A confession? Well... maybe XD

Thank you for the pointers concerning grammer! I'm trying, but I don't know if I've done very well...


	10. Chapter 10: Confessions or Not

Chapter Ten: Confessions

Chapter Ten: Confessions... or Not

He loved the mage.

He loved the _mage._

He _loved_ the goddamn _mage_.

Kurogane paced in his room, muttering darkly. He had finally admitted it to himself. There was no way he couldn't, really. That stupid mage had come along and ruined his life and his reputation and... he loved him. No sane person would ever love someone who had messed up his life so badly, but he supposed he wasn't entirely sane. Now he stood in his room, talking to himself, his manly pride battling it out with what he really wanted.

**He's a guy. Guys don't like guys.**

_Gender doesn't matter. Besides, he's girly enough to pass as a woman._

**Well, you're got a point there.**

_And he's always got a cheerful attitude._

**I hate his attitude. He doesn't care about himself and he's always wearing that fake smile.**

_But you still love him, don't you? And he loves you..._

**He doesn't love me. He doesn't even need me. The fact that he left proved that well enough.**

_But he came back, didn't he? _

**Only because I made him. **

_He could have not come with you. And you know what would make this a lot easier?_

**What?**

_Asking him how he feels about you._

**No way in hell.**

_Look, you can either live your whole life in ignorance and having your heart broken a million times or you can confess and live happily ever after._

**Then I guess I'll just have to live in ignorance.**

Damn his manly pride.

Kurogane flopped down onto his bed, rubbing his temples. Damn the mage. He had been doing fine until Fai came along, and then there were seven whole new levels of hell added onto his life. Despite wanting to hate Fai's guts, however, the ninja wouldn't have been able to go a day without the blonde.

"Gorramit, mage," Kurogane growled, "Why the hell did I have to fall in love with you?"

--

"What's the matter, Fai-san?"

Fai turned around, his smile sliding quickly back into place. Sakura, Mokona and her twin sister Modoki stood half in and out of the doorway to the balcony. "Oh!" Fai grinned at them, "What are you all doing here?"

Mokona and Modoki both skipped up to Fai and clung onto his arms. Mokona had long white hair and blue eyes, while her twin had dark black hair and red eyes.

"Mokona could tell that Fai was feeling sad--" the white-haired girl said.

"--So we decided to come cheer Fai up!" Modoki finished her twin's sentence.

Sakura smiled warmly. "Fai-san, you didn't really seem to be acting yourself lately... where did you go a couple of days ago?"

Fai shifted guiltily. He still hadn't told them that he had meant to leave. "I went looking around the city," he lied, "I left really early, and I didn't want to wake anybody, so..."

"Kurogane was really worried about you--" Modoki said.

"--And went out to find you--" Mokona carried on.

"--But when he came back--"

"--He was angry--"

"--And happy--"

"--At the same time."

"Fai-san, you should tell someone before you leave like that," Sakura said, concerned. Fai laughed.

"Okay, okay," he agreed, "I promise I'll let Kuro-pippi know before I go anywhere, as not to worry our princess here." The wizard bowed as Sakura covered her face, blushing.

"Princess! Princess!" The twins giggled, latching themselves onto Sakura instead.

Sakura smiled warmly, laughing with Fai as the twins proceeded to dance around the two of them.

--

"Fai-san?" Sakura kneeled down behind the mage as she brushed his blonde locks. Mokona and Modoki both lay in Fai's lap, asleep.

"Hmm?"

"You and Kurogane-san are rather... close, aren't you?"

Fai heart skipped a beat, but he kept his face impassive. "Hnn, I suppose so. But what makes you think that?"

Sakura continued to brush Fai's hair, thinking. "Do you want this in a ponytail, Fai-san? It's really long."

"Sure. You were saying, Sakura-chan?"

"Well, you and Kurogane-san are so close, but you try to keep as far apart as you can, don't you?" Sakura took a hair band out of her pocket and began to tie together Fai's hair. Fai chuckled uncomfortably. "You could say that, I guess," he whispered.

"You love him, don't you?"

Fai was shocked at the sudden question, but regained his composure and sighed. Well, Sakura-chan found out. It probably wasn't that hard to guess now that he thought of the way he acted around the ninja. "I suppose you could put it that way."

Sakura shook her head. "Fai, you either love him or you don't. There's no in-between." The mage stared down at his hands. How could he answer a question like that when he could barely admit it to himself? He took a deep breath. "Yes... Yes I do. I love Kurogane. But..." Sakura tilted her head quizzically. "But what, Fai-san?"

"It doesn't matter either way," Fai said, his voice dejected, "Kuro-sama doesn't love me back."

Sakura finished tying Fai's hair in a ponytail and sat down beside him, staring out at the landscape. The streets were still busy, but there were less people out, as dusk was beginning to fall. The sky was tinged a reddish-orange color, the clouds pink from the light of the setting sun. "How do you know he doesn't like you, Fai-san? Do you really know? ...Or are you just afraid he doesn't?" Fai remained silent for a short while. He didn't know why, but he was afraid of what would happen if Kurogane didn't like him back. He was even more afraid of what might happen if the ninja did. "I don't know," he said uncertainly, "But I'll never ask him; that I'm sure of."

The jade-eyed girl remained ominously silent for quite some time. Her face was blank, but she was thinking hard.

Sakura stood up suddenly and walked in front of Fai, looking down at him with her hands on her hips. "Fai-san, you have to tell Kurogane how you feel! If you don't you'll never be together!"

Fai bit his lip, his vision going blurry as he held back tears. "Why would you want to help someone like me?" His voice was bitter, as though he thought that he wasn't worth being cared for by anyone. He felt a tug on his tunic and looked down to see two sets of blue and red eyes looking up at him.

"Sakura can tell when someone is in love--"

"--and she wants to help Fai tell Kurorin how he feels."

"But Fai doesn't want to tell Kuro-chuu how he feels--"

"--because Fai doesn't want to be close to anyone else."

Fai felt himself being caught, which was exactly what he didn't want. Emotions and feelings would trap him and cause him pain. He didn't want to have to go through the pain again. The blonde's mouth went dry and his throat began to hurt. He tried to look away, but Sakura turned his head so he was looking into her eyes. Eyes that showed compassion, pain, worry. Eyes that reminded him so much of Kurogane's, with a strength of will that shone. Fai shuddered.

"You can't keep running like this."

Fai broke down completely, sobbing as Sakura held him close. Mokona and Modoki both looked on anxiously as Fai hiccupped, trying to speak. "I--I--" Sakura stroked Fai's hair, calming the man slightly as he tried to gather his thoughts. "I can't tell him," Fai whimpered, "I don't want to get hurt again..."

"Fai-san, listen to me," Sakura spoke softly to the mage, "I... had someone in my life that I loved very much. I never him how I felt, though." She laughed, but it was a sad sound. "Now I can't even remember who that person was. All I can remember are my feelings for him." Fai looked up at Sakura's face. She was wearing the same smile he usually did when he wanted to hide his pain. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

Sakura shook her head. "That doesn't matter. The point is, if you don't tell Kurogane-san how you feel about him, you'll end up losing him forever!"

Sighing, Fai buried his head in his hands. He was still trembling a little, but had managed to regain control for the most part. "I don't think I ever had him in the first place. I'll never know how he feels."

A soft hand touched Fai's cheek, and he flinched. Mokona kneeled next to him, continuing to stroke the blonde's cheek. Modoki followed suit.

"Fai won't know..."

"...if Fai never gives Kuro-shy a chance."

"Oi."

The four of them turned simultaneously. None of them had noticed Kurogane stepping out onto the terrace. He looked annoyed, but his expression changed when he saw the mage's face. Fai quickly looked away. He didn't want Kurogane to know he had been crying.

"I think we should go, don't you think Modoki? Mokona?"

Sakura stood up and gathered the twins together. Giving Fai a reassuring pat on the shoulder, she led the twins back into the palace, leaving the two men behind.

They stood in silence for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. Fai could feel Kurogane's piercing gaze at his back, and he knew that the ninja was contemplating the best way to break down his defenses. Unfortunately for Fai, that particular task probably wouldn't be so hard at the moment. He had to draw Kurogane away from the topic before it even came up. Making sure his smile was in place, Fai twirled to faced the ninja. Better to get this over with now than later.

"Were you looking for me, Kuro-chiyo?"

Kurogane didn't reply, he just stared at Fai with a fierce intensity. His arms were crossed across his chest and his brow was furrowed. Red eyes scanned the mage with x-ray vision, not buying the man's act for one second. After another minute of silence, Fai decided to try again.

"If Kuronyon doesn't need me, I can go..."

No reply. Fai was starting to feel uncomfortable. He had never seen Kurogane stay like this for so long. If only he knew what was going through the ninja's mind at that moment... but it didn't seem very likely that Kurogane would tell him. He may as well leave.

Fai took a few uneasy steps forward, and when Kurogane didn't stop him, headed for the door inside. He was about to pass the ninja when he was suddenly halted. Kurogane had grabbed Fai's arm and was holding him in place. Fai struggled slightly, but Kurogane held on tighter.

"Ittei," Fai inhaled sharply, "Kuro-sama, that hurts..."

Kurogane loosened his grip, but not enough so the mage could escape.

"Kuro-rough, if you don't let me go I'm not going to be able to go anywhere--"

"Quit it."

The mage blinked uncertainly. He knew Kurogane was looking at him, but he didn't face the ninja. "Quit what, Kuro-chan? I'm not doing anything..." The ninja's gaze was intensifying.

"You're hiding something from me," the reply came in a low growl, "There's been something on your mind for a while. You're moody when you think no one's looking. You're always wearing that fake smile and hoping no one will notice. And," Kurogane turned Fai's head, "You've been crying."

Fai yanked himself away with such speed and force it surprised even Kurogane. The blonde touched his arm where Kurogane had held onto him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kurogane's arm twitched. A lie. "Don't think you can lie to me," Kurogane warned. Fai shook his head. "I don't want to talk about anything," he whispered, "It doesn't concern you, anyway." Kurogane's body had no reaction this time. Fai was telling the truth... or at least part of it.

"Listen to me," he said. His voice was so commanding Fai had no choice but to look up. "I don't know what it is that's bugging you, whether it's in the past or present, but forget about it." Fai gasped, his face showing a mixture of shock and horror. Kurogane had hit right on the mark. "Because whatever it is, it's affecting you badly. Even Sakura could tell. Don't give me that look, I saw them crowded around you like you were on your deathbed." Kurogane walked towards the door. "So whatever it is, get over it. I don't care."

"And neither should you."

Kurogane left Fai standing alone on the balcony. The man's whole body was shaking. He couldn't think. His legs suddenly gave way underneath him, and he collapsed. A hand covered the painful smile forming on his face. Memories flashed through his head suddenly, from those in the far past to the ones that caused him pain now.

"That's easier said than done, Kurogane."


	11. Chapter 11: Through the Fire and Flames

I'm back, and lookie what I got! A whole new wave of angst!! I've been working up to this point in the story for so long... it took me ages to tweak it just the way I wanted -laughs- I hope it came out okay. Schoolwork has been screwing up my writing schedule, but pretty soon, school will be no longer! Mwahahahahaha! -victory dance- No, I'm not bombing anything (though I'd like to) but summer vacation is almost here! Soon I shall be able to type to my heart's content... -bliss-

**Disclaimer:** If only... if only...

Chapter 11: Through the Fire and Flames

The days were growing shorter and the battles were fewer. Winter was coming, and neither side seemed to want to fight out in the cold. Nowadays Kurogane didn't do much besides train, eat, train, sleep, go on patrol, train… not much happened. He didn't think about much, but when he did it was always the same thing. Fai. Kurogane had to keep moving, to keep doing _something_, if only too keep his mind off of the infatuation he had with the blonde man.

The mage himself was having problems of his own. When he wasn't going through his normal routine of bugging Kurogane, helping around the castle, and bugging the ninja some more, he was thinking. Hard. He found himself subconsciously going into Kurogane's room and burying himself under the blankets, just too see what it felt like. The feelings Kurogane gave him made him hurt so much, and yet it felt wonderful at the same time.

And both found themselves becoming drawn closer and closer to the other…

* * *

Fai lay sprawled on the couch in Kurogane's room, staring at Kurogane, who was laying on his bed, trying to get to sleep. Emphasis on _trying_. The damn mage had not moved or looked away in five minutes and forty-two seconds; Kurogane had counted. And he was still counting. What in kami's name was that man thinking?

The blonde man, however, did not seem to notice Kurogane's discomfort. He sat thinking, continuing to stare at the man's back. What Sakura said to him a few days ago had really impacted on him, and now every waking moment was filled with thoughts and questions about the ninja. Unfortunately for said ninja, Fai did not want to reveal what it was exactly he was thinking, which in turn would lead to more confusion on the mage's part. It didn't help that, even if he did want to tell Kurogane how he felt, he just couldn't seem to find the right words to express himself. He could try telling him out straight, but somehow he didn't think that would work very well. In the worst-case scenario, Kurogane would think him a freak and never speak to him again. But on the other hand, he might have a chance….

"Mage?"

"……"

"_Mage."_

"……"

"**Mage!**"

Fai looked up. "Were you calling me, Kuro-puppy?"

Kurogane grimaced. "I called your name three times. Listen when someone is talking to you!"

"Ahh, wari wari, I was thinking about something and didn't hear you," Fai said, chuckling guiltily.

"Well pay attention next time!" the "puppy" growled, "You've been staring at me for five minutes! It's making me nervous, I can't sleep and I can't think. You're giving me a headache."

"Sorry. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing. Goddammit, you're making my head pound."

"Kuro-wonderer has been thinking too much," Fai giggled, "It's making his head hurt."

"Usse, mage. It's not important."

"Yes it is, or Kuro-chan wouldn't be thinking about it so hard."

Seven minutes.

Kurogane eyed the man quizzically, not sure if the mage was reading his worn-down emotions or was just joking around. The look in his eye betrayed his smile, leading Kurogane to believe the former. "Oh yeah, what about you? You and your little sob story a few days ago, that wasn't important at all."

Shit. He hadn't meant to say that.

Fai blinked, taken aback by Kurogane's words. He hadn't mentioned that day once since it had happened. The way he had said it… Fai had a sudden urge just to come out and tell Kurogane everything. He wanted to explain it all, to have the ninja there for him, understanding and kind.

He had to tell him. There was no way around it.

"Kuronron?"

"...What?"

"…………….."

The way Fai was looking at him frightened the ninja. His eye was calm, but there was a hidden passion behind that gaze. Kurogane's heart began to thump madly in his chest and his face grew warm. What the hell was with that look the mage was giving him? It was making him so apprehensive; sending shivers down his spine. But he wouldn't stop looking at him…

Ten minutes and three seconds.

"H-hurry up and say what you need to say. I don't have all day for this, you know."

Fai stood still, his eyes glazed over in thought.

He could live without knowing, and leave it at that.

Or he could take a chance.

"_You can't keep running like this."_

He made his decision.

Standing suddenly, Fai walked over to the bed where Kurogane lay, befuddled. Inhaling deeply, the blonde wizard closed his eye and rested his hand on Kurogane's left arm. A strange sensation shot through the ninja's arm, and he tensed, but did not pull away. Fai opened his eye.

But he couldn't do it unless…

"Come with me."

Kurogane was too dazed to say no. He nodded his head weakly, and Fai's hand slid down to grasp his. The ninja submitted to the pressure without conscious thought, allowing himself to be led by the blonde mage.

He saw himself as though through different eyes. He watched himself as he was pulled up to his feet by Fai. They walked towards the door, Kurogane trailing behind the spell caster. Through the castle, a maze of hallways, and there were two men, one skipping and singing, the other rolling his eyes. They passed the courtyard, where an enraged red-eyed man had once chased a smiling blue-eyed one. The streets of Nihon, and a happy mage showed a scowling ninja two stuffed animals.

Passersby didn't even spare a second glance as the two walked out of the gate. The surroundings were familiar, but he didn't pay attention. All he could see were the two men as they walked on ahead of him, hand in hand.

Fai squeezed Kurogane's hand tightly, snapping the ninja back into reality. They had stopped; their surroundings had now changed. Lush trees towered over them, the sky a deep blue dotted with the first few stars of night. The breeze was cool and crisp, with a strange scent lingering in the air that he didn't quite recognize. Fai was standing with his back towards Kurogane, staring up at the sky. He still held the ninja's hand.

"Why did you stop?" Kurogane's voice still sounded distant to him, as though he was still out of his body.

Fai turned his head slightly, so his only eye was covered by his blonde hair.

"I'm still not sure…"

Kurogane suddenly grew impatient with the man. If whatever it was he had to tell him was so significant, why didn't he tell him already? "How can you not be sure of something that's supposedly so important? And where are we going?"

The silence swelled as time passed. Then Fai turned away. "To a place where I can show Kuro-tan I really care."

Ignoring the fact that his heart had nearly jumped out of his throat, Kurogane decided to follow the mage as they started through the forest again. They walked a little slower now, and a comfortable hush followed in their wake. The breeze was virtually non-existent, and there was no sound but a thrush that sat twittering in a tree.

As they carried on, Kurogane noticed a few changes in the forest. The air was growing warmer and thicker; it was hard to breathe. The sky was darker, but a different kind of darkness. The texture of the air reminded him of steam, or a congealed haze…

After a while, Kurogane finally realized just what that haze was.

Smoke. And smoke this color could only mean one thing.

Fire.

As if on cue, Fai halted his steps. His eye grew wide as he looked at the sky above, the blue orb following the trail of smoke to the point of its origin. Kurogane squinted into the distance, following the mage's gaze. The smoke seemed to be coming from a mountain not too far from them. A large chunk of the rock had eroded away, leaving a large fissure in the top; it was from here that the smoke was emitting. Kurogane drew back in terror as he slowly came to recognize the scene around him.

"No," Fai muttered pensively. His hand slipped from Kurogane's. "_No_. He can't be here, he didn't…" The blonde took a step forward, still dumbfounded. He walked forward slowly, cautiously. Then, without warning, he broke into a run. "Mage!" Kurogane called after him, but it was futile. Fai was sprinting, running on pure adrenaline, towards the cavern. The ninja attempted to catch up to him, but in his panicked state, the mage ran far faster than Kurogane. Kurogane weaved through trees and ducked under low branches, following the path made by Fai. He could barely see the blonde man, sometimes he only caught a glance of the mage's fur-trimmed coat as he maneuvered through the forest. Kurogane had never seen Fai in such a state of dread. Who or what could have made him this apprehensive?

Fai had already rushed into the entrance of the cavern and through the tunnel, and Kurogane raced close behind. The air around him had turned to a thick smog; a result of the nearby fire. The air was scorching hot, and his eyes watered from the lack of moisture in the air. His breath came in sharp, spasmodic gulps in a plea for oxygen. Covering his mouth with his hand, Kurogane kneeled down beside the entrance of the tunnel and pulled aside the moss, which was nearly dehydrated and broke apart at his touch. The smoke was even thicker inside the tunnel, and he had to close his eyes to keep the hot dust out. Twice he hit his head on the top of the passageway in his rush to follow Fai, and many times he had to stop and filter his air intake with his cloak. He couldn't see any sign that the end of the warren was nearing, so he had to trust his instincts. The tunnel was widening, which meant the exit was near. An unearthly glow seeped through the dark miasma, and the heat was overwhelming.

Then Kurogane emerged from the tunnel.

He could barely believe the scene that lay before his eyes.

Fai stood a few feet in front of him, gaping at his surroundings. There was smoke. And fire. A great fire blazed in the cavern, eating away at the green bamboo rods, the cherry trees, even the lake was aflame. Demons thrived in the shadows of the flames, their insane cackling ringing in the ninja's ears. And standing amidst all the chaos were two people. One was Syaoran, his eyes blank and his face unemotional, and beside him stood his master. His black hair cascaded down to his waist, his eyes were endless black tunnels, and a cruel smile played at his lips.

King Ashura.

The corrupt king gazed blankly at the two men, searching them. He took a step forward, causing Fai to flinch backwards. "Ahh, my little Fai-kun," his voice was soft, but it rang in a commanding tone above all the others. The demons quieted abruptly. "I didn't know you would be bringing a friend with you. You must be Kurogane-san." Ashura inclined his head slightly to Kurogane. "How wonderful to meet you. Thank you for taking care of my Fai-kun for me."

A burst of rage suddenly erupted in Kurogane. The way Ashura could speak so calmly when this destruction blazed around him was unthinkable; his cool smile seemed only to make him more detestable in the ninja's eyes. But most of all the way he said Fai's name. _Fai-kun_… it was drawn out with a seductive drawl that made Kurogane want to explode with anger. But he was also confused. What did that bastard mean, _his_ Fai?

"I see you are puzzled as to my choice of words," Ashura said, as though he had read Kurogane's mind, "You don't mean he didn't ever tell you? About his past?" Fai inhaled sharply. "No…" the mage whispered.

Ashura shook his head disapprovingly. "Of course, but I had forgotten. Fai-kun was always quite shy and secretive. How could you have not told him? After all that you two must have gone through together," his tone was one of an adult scolding a child for doing something wrong, "Well, we must fix that, and soon."

Fai shivered. "Please, no… Ashura-sama…"

Kurogane's arm went into another fit of paroxysm, and his head jerked to look at the mage. Had he called him Ashura… sama?

"Because," the dreaded man explained, "I need you back, Fai-kun. Didn't your friend ever wonder where you came from? Why you were running from me? You never told him where you really came from, did you?" Kurogane frowned. Fai had never truly told him where he came from, and his reasons for running had always been scanty. All he had ever known was that Fai was a wizard… but come to think of it, Kurogane had never seen the mage use any of his magic. Suddenly Kurogane had a foreboding feeling, like he didn't want to know what had happened in the mage's past, he didn't want to know what Fai's connection with this man really was…

"Fai-kun is a Celesian wizard," Ashura said, his voice dripping with sadism, "He was my apprentice, and was actually supposed to be next in line for the throne, but he ran away from me."

"Shut up," Kurogane growled menacingly, "Shut your goddamn fucking mouth."

"If you need proof," the king pointed to Kurogane's fake arm, which convulsed again, "Think about your arm. Has it ever given you warnings about my little Fai-kun? That fake arm was made by him, and is woven with his own magic. And Fai-kun…"

"SHUT UP, YOU BASTARD!" Kurogane roared, but he knew he was right. He thought of all the times his arm had warned him, he had saved Fai once because of the connection…

"Fai-kun is _mine_."

Fai was shaking so badly Kurogane almost felt the tremors through his own body. Tears streamed down the mage's face. His mouth hung open in disbelief, as though in the middle of a silent scream. The blonde gasped irregularly, hiccupping as sobs racked his body. "Ashura-sama," he pleaded, "Please stop."

Ashura shook his head sadly. "Oh, but don't you see, my little Fai-kun? This won't stop, because this is _your_ fault," he spread his arms, "All of this beauty, you burned it down with your own hands. The pain that you have caused yourself… and all the others you have come in contact with. And the war. Ah, the war. The death of hundreds, and all because _you_ left. You're the cause of all of this, my little puppet. Because you left me."

Fai dropped down to his knees, his eye vacant and blank. He trembled, and Kurogane's arm trembled as well. "No…" Fai spoke barely above a whisper, his voice raspy, "It's not my fault, it's not…" Fai jerked violently, his head snapping back. "Kurogane, I'm so sorry, I'm so… It isn't my fault, I didn't mean for… no… _no_!" The mage held his head in his hands, muttering to himself. "I… no… Kuro… help me… why?… why?… WHY?"

A gust of magical energy rose slowly beneath the mage as he shouted, tears streaming down his face. The demons grew restless, swaying back and forth in the shadows.

"No, it's not true! Kurogane… not my fault… no… ahh… ahh… ahhh… AUUUGHH!!"

Fai's magical energy suddenly burst forth, emitting a sickly white and blue glow from the earth. The energy whipped around like wind, beating against Kurogane's body with an extreme amount of force. Suddenly, the demons broke free of their taboo. They lurched forward, shrieking, in an attempt to reach the mage. As they grew closer, Kurogane feared for the wizard, but any demons who came close enough to the magical winds were shredded to pieces.

The winds grew stronger, and suddenly Kurogane's fake arm was searing with pain. Kurogane yelled, grabbing his arm and falling to one knee. His whole arm felt like it was on fire, but he had not been touched by the flames.

He knew; this was the pain that Fai was going through. The strain of the release of magical energy was tearing the mage's body apart, and if Kurogane could hardly stand the pain in one arm, he couldn't imagine how Fai could still be alive. He had to help Fai somehow, but the blue-eyed man seemed out of reach. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Kurogane stood. He had to reach out to Fai, he had to…

"_**Fai!"**_

As suddenly as the winds had started, they stopped. Everything seemed to move slowly, as though someone were flipping though a picture book.

The magical energy subsided.

Fai turned his head slowly to face the ninja.

Kurogane saw Fai's blue eye. In it was reflected insanity, disbelief.

Fai opened his mouth.

A shadow rose behind the mage.

Before Kurogane could utter a word of warning, a sharp claw came down from above.

Blood.

Then everything sped up again.

Without the protection of his magic, Fai had been left wide open. The demon's claw sliced through Fai, almost severing his left half from the rest of his body. At first there was no blood, and then there was blood everywhere.

The mage fell slowly, still in a state of shock, and Kurogane felt himself moving, just in time to catch the mage before he hit the ground.

Nothing else seemed to move as Kurogane stared into Fai's dim blue eye. A bubble of thick, red blood burst from the corner of the mage's mouth, trickling down his chin. Weakly, Fai lifted his arm, resting his hand on Kurogane's tan cheek. Kurogane caught the mage's hand in his own and stroked it with his thumb. "Fai…"

"K-kuro-tan… has… never…" Fai coughed with the effort of speaking.

"Don't talk," Kurogane pleaded, his voice trembling.

Fai shook his head. "Kuro… has never… called me by… my name… ever… before…" he whispered, a weak smile forming across his face, "But… I never… told… you… what… came here…"

"Shut up. SHUT UP!" Kurogane yelled, breathing heavily. "Just… don't talk, I'll bring you back to the city and they'll heal you, you can tell me then. You don't have to tell me now..."

Fai gazed into Kurogane's red orbs, taking in the emotions that showed so clearly on the surface.

"I may not… have another chance… Kurogane…"

Fai's voice broke off into a whimper. Closing his eye, he breathed deeply for a few seconds. Then, holding onto Kurogane for support, he brought himself closer to the ninja. He placed his lips onto Kurogane's parted ones, and kissed him. Not like the kisses before, but a _kiss_, one that truly said what he felt. Kurogane kissed Fai back , squeezing his eyes shut and pulling the mage closer to him. When they broke apart, they would be back in Nihon and none of this would have ever happened. Fai would be alive, and they would get into another one of their stupid fights about nothing in particular…

But when they broke apart, Fai's eye remained closed. The mage slumped forward into Kurogane's chest, seemingly lifeless.

Kurogane couldn't remember quite what happened after that. It was all a blur.

He had held onto Fai as he fought the demons with Ginryu in hand. A rush of loathing cascaded out of the ninja as he sliced and hacked at anything in sight, condemning the demons to their death. Any being that came close to Fai was callously slaughtered, torn to bits before it could even react. His breathing came in short, raspy jerks of insanity, more fearful than the cries of the demons themselves. But even as he slashed murderously, the blood of the demons could not satisfy his endless rage. The one who had caused all of Fai's pain… he wanted to see him suffer. To die. Ashura.

He swung his sword ruthlessly at the king, but before his attacks could reach him, King Ashura and Syaoran had disappeared. The last he remembered of those two was the king's cold, impassionate face, and Syaoran… Syaoran's eyes remained blank, but Kurogane could have sworn he saw a tear roll down the boy's cheek.

The wind had blown away all of the fire and smoke. Instead of trying to crawl through the narrow passageway with Fai on his back, Kurogane had climbed up toward the skylight in the top of the mountain. He had to be careful not to jog the injured mage too much; he had lost enough blood already. The forest was endless, and it seemed to take him hours rather than minutes to get back to the gate into Nihon. When he finally arrived the streets were deserted but for a few people. The sight of the ninja carrying the bloodied mage frightened them, until finally one had enough sense to call for one of the royal guards. A few of them tried to help Kurogane as others went to alert Tomoyo, but one glare from the blood-covered ninja sent the message that he would not allow anyone to touch the mage but himself. Kurogane alone carried Fai through the streets of Nihon, through the gate and courtyard of the royal palace, and into the main hallway. There were people there, waiting for his return with vexed looks on their faces.

Tomoyo was there, her face shocked and worried for Fai's life. She tried to coax Kurogane into letting one of the guards carry Fai, but he silenced her with a glance. She quickly showed him to a room that had been hastily prepared for Fai's arrival. Mokona and Modoki followed Kurogane into the room, running to join Sakura, who was already mixing herbs, her hands shaking. Sohma stood beside him, a rare look of concern on her face. There were people rushing back and forth; whether they were coming or going he did not know.

He only saw Fai, covered in blood. Dying.

Or possibly dead.

Ahh, I'm so evil!! XP Leaving you all with a cliffhanger like this... Tell me what you thought!

_Kurodos _to anyone who can tell me where I got the title of the chapter from.


	12. Chapter 12: Bamboo Shoots

The ressurection of the author!! I live once more! Finally, chapter twelve. I've actually had this done for about a week, I just didn't have a chance to update. -sweatdrop- Well, what are you waiting for? Read on!

Chapter 12: Bamboo Shoots

"Kurogane, you can't stay here," Tomoyo whispered as the three healers continued to work on keeping Fai alive.

Kurogane glared up at Tomoyo, but the weakness hidden in his eyes broke the stare. He hadn't spoken once since he had arrived, but rather had watched pensively as Sakura slowly progressed in healing the mage. They had cleaned and stitched the wound, but the cut was deep, and now and then the stitches broke, fresh blood bubbling up anew. Kurogane wouldn't leave until he knew that the mage was going to live… or otherwise.

Fai would live. He had to.

"I'm not leaving," he growled bluntly, his voice trembling and giving away his insecurity. Tomoyo shook her head.

"Kurogane," she said, "this is too stressful for you. We could be here for hours, maybe even a day or two until we really know whether or not Fai will live. The shock alone could kill him."

The ninja did not say a word.

"Please, Kurogane. Get some rest. You deserve it after what you've done to help Fai-san."

Kurogane sighed heavily and stood, defeated, glancing at Fai once more. "Fine," he muttered, "But when he gets better," he looked Tomoyo directly in the eyes, "Make sure I'm the first one to know."

Tomoyo smiled softly and nodded. "Fai-san will get better, I'm sure of it," she reassured him, "Oyasuminasai, Kurogane."

Kurogane inclined his head toward her and stepped silently out of the room. The hallways were quiet; it was very late, and the only sounds that could be heard were the soft pattering of the servants' feet as they ran quickly through the castle. Kurogane made his way down the great hallway, careful to step quietly as not to disturb the sleeping occupants of the castle.

What he really wanted to do, however, was scream.

Kurogane wanted to scream, to yell, to make everyone else feel his pain. Fai was dying, and there was nothing to do to help him. He wasn't even allowed to wait next to the mage's bed, to be there when the mage woke up. The ninja had to do something, even if that something was insignificant.

After all, Fai had done so many things for him.

When Kurogane stepped into the main entrance, instead of turning right down the hallway to the stairs, he made his way to the gate out of the palace.

Without really thinking he stepped past the guards positioned outside in the courtyard, not paying attention to their questioning looks. It was raining lightly, as though the sky was trying to cleanse itself of the bloodshed that had just taken place. The moon glowed softly through the mist-like rain, lighting Kurogane's way to his destination as he stepped inaudibly through the streets.

The cavern, once thriving with plant life, was now a murky blend of grays and browns. Bamboo reeds that once stood tall were scattered among the dirt, twisted painfully into shapes unbefitting of the proud plants they once were. Sakura trees had been burned down to stumps and mutilated by the fire. The lake was filled with all manner of branches and grime. Although the smoke had been blown away, the air took on a dingy, grimy feel, and there was a sickly sweet smell that made Kurogane want to gag.

The beauty had disappeared, along with Fai.

Maybe if he could bring the beauty back, he could bring back Fai too.

He didn't really know what he was doing, or why he was doing it, he just started. Down on his hands and knees, Kurogane began to clear the ground of the burned plants. He moved slowly but continuously, picking up the dead bamboo reeds, stacking them in a pile near the exit of the cave, and moving back to pick up more. The pattern was repeated over and over again without the slightest stop in movement. Kurogane's brain seemed to have numbed, locked in an incessant cycle. Only one thing seemed to register in his brain; he had to keep moving. As long as he kept moving, everything would be all right.

As long as he kept moving, Fai would still be alive.

Fine mist seeped in through the hole in the top of the mountain. It soaked through to Kurogane's clothes and into his bones, chilling him. Small droplets of water dripped from his damp black hair as he moved, and the bamboo reeds were slippery in his grasp. Twice he nearly slipped in the mud, but he continued as though nothing had happened, thinking.

There was some kind of connection between Fai and Ashura, no doubt about that. Fai seemed to know all too well what Ashura had been talking about, even though Kurogane had no clue. Ashura had wanted something from Fai, and Fai had refused. To return to him… but the ninja didn't know what Fai had left for in the first place. And Fai had said it wasn't his fault. What wasn't his fault? The fact that he had left Ashura? It seemed deeper than that, much deeper. Kurogane wracked his brains trying to think of anything Fai might have said that would give him any indication as to what he meant, but he couldn't come to any conclusions. The mage had always kept to himself and had rarely said what was on his mind. There were only a few times Kurogane could remember Fai ever opening up in the slightest way to the red-eyed man. It was like trying to fit together a giant puzzle with the most important pieces missing, leaving gaps in the main picture and with only a few outer pieces to work with. The question was, would Kurogane ever get ahold of those crucial fragments, or would they remain scattered about, eventually becoming lost forever?

Everything seemed to lead back to the mage's life. If he died, Kurogane would never know what had happened to Fai, what had made him run for so long. If he lived… even then Kurogane wasn't sure if he would learn the truth. The blue-eyed man seemed to live in a world of deceit and lies. Kurogane's only hope was that, if the mage really loved him, he would learn to open up more.

Kurogane's heart twisted agonizingly as the memory of the mage's confession sprang into his mind. At one point he had never believed that Fai would love him, but now he had been proven wrong. Maybe Fai would open up to him, tell Kurogane what had happened, now that he knew Kurogane loved him back. Kurogane begged that Fai knew how he felt about him, but would something like that change the mage's life so drastically? He knew he was risking failure, but Kurogane would have to count on Fai to tell him by his own choice. He couldn't force Fai to tell him anything that he didn't want to, even if they did love each other.

As Kurogane bent over to pick up another bamboo reed, something caught his attention. He had seen it before, but hadn't really paid any heed to it until now, when he saw it up close. The ninja threw the bamboo reeds to the side and leaned in closer, examining the ground carefully. The thing was covered in dirt and dead plants, and Kurogane brushed the waste aside to get a better look. He picked it up gently, disbelieving, and held it up into the light to see.

It was a small, dark green bamboo shoot, still intact with most of its roots. The shoot seemed to have been uprooted by the wind, but had somehow miraculously remained intact. It was only about an inch tall, but something about it brought back a renewed life in the wearied ninja.

Clearing a small patch of soil for the shoot, Kurogane carefully placed the roots of the plant in the ground, making sure not to damage any of them. He worked with deliberate speed, using more care than one would expect from the usually rough man. The ninja covered the base of the plant with dirt, packing it in so the plant would not tip over. Finally, the job complete, Kurogane dipped his hands in the water beside him and poured a small amount of water over the newly-planted stalk to help it grow.

As he looked down at the minute bamboo plant, a strange feeling overcame him. It was barely noticeable at first; a dull, distant throbbing that seemed to pulse in his head. But it steadily grew stronger, until it thumped loudly within his brain. It captured separate parts of himself until his whole body seemed to pulse like a beating drum. The feeling gathered itself slowly, moving from his arms and legs towards the center of his torso, and then on from there until the pulse was right inside his own heart. The two beat irregularly, but instead of feeling uncomfortable with the phenomenon, Kurogane felt more at peace than he had ever before. The pulse was familiar, loving, caring. And though it beat against his own heartbeat, it seemed to fit in like a piece of him that had been missing for a long time.

He recognized the feeling; it was the feeling Fai gave him. This _was_ Fai. It was the beating of Fai's heart, assuring that the mage's soul had not died out. It told Kurogane that the mage was still alive, still fighting for his life.

After all, if one small shoot could retain life, so could another.

Kurogane began to search the ground, sifting dirt aside and looking carefully through piles of dead plants. If one bamboo shoot had managed to survive, that didn't mean it was the _only_ one. Sure enough, as the ninja searched, he came upon many more green shoots he hadn't seen before. Some were torn out of the ground, as the first one had been, but others were still planted firmly in the ground in an attempt to save what life they had left. The two separate hearts beat rhythmically as Kurogane worked; clearing the soil, planting the shoots, watering the ground. It was as though Fai were working right beside him, helping him to re-create the life that was once there.

* * *

"_Uwaa! The lake is so clear!"_

_Kurogane scoffed at the mage, looking away over the water. The lake really _was_ clear. He was glad Fai had decided to show him this place, it was so peaceful. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was glad to have met the mage. Though Kurogane had only met Fai about a week ago, the mage was making quite an impact on the ninja. He was hyperactive and childish, but he retained an innocence that one usually lost at his age; it was refreshing, different. Without people like Fai, the world might have very well gone insane a long time ago. Kurogane glanced back at the mage._

"_Oi, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Kurogane shouted at the mage, who now stood waist-deep in the water._

"_Hyuu, the water is so cold… Come join me, Kuro-chan! It's really nice!"_

"_I'm not setting one foot in that water," Kurogane growled, "I came here because you told me to, but there's no way in hell I'm getting wet."_

"_Aww, Kuro-kitty doesn't like the water," Fai pouted._

"_I'm not a cat, you bastard!"_

"_But cats don't like water either! Okay, then, if you're not a cat, Kuro-tiger can be something more manly."_

"_What the hell is a tai-gur?" Kurogane asked, watching the mage attentively as he floated back and forth over the lake's surface. Fai chuckled, splashing playfully at the water._

"_It's a big, big kitty-cat that lives up in the snowy mountains! It's got fangs just like Kuro-puu does!" Fai explained, pawing at the air with imaginary claws and baring his teeth like fangs, "But they're cuddly too, just like Kuro is!"_

"_Screw this," Kurogane muttered, but he didn't leave. He instead removed his cloak and, setting it down beside him, sat down to watch the mage as he splashed playfully in the water. A small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. He supposed it wasn't… too bad, being with the mage._

_Fai was dripping wet when he finally came out of the water. His blonde locks were dripping wet against his forehead, some of the more untamable strands of hair stuck out at odd angles. Fai grinned at the ninja, who grimaced back, and plopped himself beside the tall man, deflating himself with a long sigh of content. Kurogane looked at him strangely, but made no comment. The two sat there for a while, and Fai felt himself beginning to drift off into the realm of slumber. He stifled a yawn that had worked it's way up through him, but Kurogane was not fooled._

"_If you're tired, go to sleep. It's not good to wear yourself out like that."_

_Fai smiled dazedly. "Demo, Kuronron, I'm not tired at all…" he muttered. His long eyelashes fluttered as he fought the waves of sleep that were washing over him. He trembled very slightly, almost a twitch._

"_You're _cold_ and tired," Kurogane observed, "If you get sick you'll blame it on me, but it sure as hell won't be my fault." _

"_I left my coat…" the mage murmured. "But it's okay."_

_Kurogane snorted. "No it's not. For god's sake, you're probably worse when you're sick than when you're healthy. Take this."_

_Fai swayed side to side weakly, as though in disagreement, but Kurogane wouldn't have it. Grabbing his cloak from beside him, he draped it over the mage's shoulders, covering him like a shadow. "There. Now get some sleep."_

"_Kurogane is so nice…"_

_The mage lay down on his side, curled up tightly in a ball, and was almost instantly asleep. At first his breathing was shallow, but as time passed it grew deeper and steadier as he fell deeper into slumber. Kurogane watched the lake and the fireflies hovering over it in content. The leaves on the bamboo rods swayed ever so slightly in the puffs of wind that found their way into the sanctuary. The night sounds were muffled slightly; crickets chirped in the far off distance and a hungry owl hooted softly in search of its prey. The stars in the sky twinkled in delight, bright against the dark night sky._

_And under the watchful eye of the moon the two men lay side by side in a world of dreams and memories._

* * *

Kurogane did not know for how long he had been working, nor did he care. The sun had risen and fallen several times, and Kurogane had lost count. The ninja did not stop to sleep, or even take the time to rest. As long as Fai's heart continued to beat, Kurogane continued to work. Over time the ground became cleared away; the grass had started to wheedle back in through the earth in small tufts. What few plants seemed left had now turned to many, and, although most were only seedlings, they were already beginning to thrive. Kurogane had even found a few scattered remains of the seeds from the sakura trees, and one young tree had not obtained any lasting damage. Only a few nights ago a few fireflies had returned to their place over the water. The cavern had started its life anew, and gradually the essence of the forest was returning.

And Fai's heart continued to beat.

Kurogane had finished.

He had worked for almost two weeks non-stop, planting the young shoots and clearing away the dead ones to help them grow. Now his work was complete. The grass was not as lush and green as it used to be, the bamboo shoots stood not nearly as tall as they used to, and the trees not quite as beautiful as they once looked, but they would grow.

Now that the life in the cavern had come back, perhaps Fai's life would be rejuvenated as well. Maybe, if Fai was well enough, he could bring the mage here to show him. And Kurogane could tell the mage how he felt about him as well.

The ninja chuckled to himself. Here he was, the most feared ninja in all of Nihon, and he was thinking sappy lines like that. He should be ashamed.

Kurogane listened closely to the second heartbeat that thrummed in his ears; the one thing that had kept him going all this time. It pounded steadily against his own, still alive. The heartbeat had lasted this long, surely it would last longer.

But as he listened, he grew increasingly worried. Something was different in the drumming of the second heart. It was something he had never heard before.

The beat was strong and sure, at first; steady, continuous. As the beats went on they seemed to grow ever so softer, just a little quieter against the ninja's heartbeat. It was very faint now; hard to hear. And then the thumping grew slower, only just, but Kurogane could still tell. It seemed to be gradually decreasing in speed, and Kurogane closed his eyes and let go of everything else, trying to catch it again.

The heartbeat was slowing, and it was growing ever slower as the ninja listened. Suddenly he could see Fai; he lay on a futon in his room, his eye closed. His chest rose and fell slowly, the movements so little it seemed as though he wasn't breathing at all. The beat of his heart continued to grow softer and slower, and Fai's chest seemed to rise and fall less and less. Fai opened his one eye weakly, and it was almost like he knew exactly where Kurogane was, and he looked at the ninja with his blue eye, clouded over in pain and the shadow of death. Fai smiled. His eye slowly lost its color as it rolled into the back of his head, and the eyelid shut over it again.

There was one last weakened heartbeat, and it echoed away into nothingness.

Kurogane opened his eyes to the scene around him. He was not back at the palace. Fai was not there with him. But the heartbeat had stopped.

The heartbeat had stopped.

Kurogane collapsed beside the lake, staring down into the clear water below. In his reflection beside him he saw a blonde man with a shocking blue eye, smiling and waving. He blinked, and the picture was gone, replaced instead by the sight of the same man, mangled and bloody, lying in his arms as he tried to tell him what he had meant to say for so long. Kurogane blinked again, and the man's face was ashen pale, his body lifeless and limp.

Fai was dead.

Kurogane scrunched his eyes shut against his misery and tilted his head upward, gritting his teeth as a cascade of tears streamed down his cheeks and watered the ground around him.

* * *

Depressing, I know, but don't worry, all you fellow Fai fans out there! I never did say there was a character death, now did I...? -grin- Guess you'll have to keep reading to find out...


	13. Chapter 13: A Brother's Wish

After my long sleep, I have awakened! Ahhh, wait, it's summer! Noooooooooooo!! -burns into ashes- But seriously, I have been dead all summer long... I have had no motivation to type whatsoever, and when I have, I've been busy. I've been getting ready to go to my first anime con, and then I get to go to England! Yay! I'm going to Kakkoi Con, and cosplaying as Mattie from Death Note! (Whoo Matt!) I wanted to dye my hair, but it's too dark, so the red doesn't show up. I'm ending up having to spray it -sweatdrop- Yeah, I know, n00b cosplayer standing right here...

But let's get on with my long-awaited story, shall we?

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the rocks in my head.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: A Brother's Wish

_Fai stood in a cool, white mist that blanketed him with cool droplets of water. He was weightless, with nothing above or below him, but an invisible barrier kept him rooted to the spot. The mist seemed to extend into infinity, stretching into an oblivion of white light that seemed to have no source. He found he could not breathe, not because he _could _not, but rather that he did not have the need to. Wind swept around the abyss, circling back and twisting and turning as though it could not leave this place. A sudden chill overcame him, and he shivered, wishing he could be held in Kurogane's warm arms again._

_He hadn't needed to die. In fact, had he not given in to death willingly, he could have survived by use of his magic. But he had chosen it this way; Ashura would not have reason to come after him again, and Kurogane would be in less danger as well. It would be far better to end his pain now than to prolong both his and Kurogane's suffering…_

"_Hello Yuui."_

_The blue-eyed man started and his eyes widened; he remembered that voice all too well. How could he not? It was so much like his own. Slowly turning his head, he stared at the owner of the voice with shocked, frightful eyes. A shadow of guilt passed over his face when he saw who it was that stood there._

_The man was tall and lanky, with wayward blonde hair that shimmered in the false light. His sparkling blue irises were exactly like those of Fai's, joyous and yet full of pain at the same time. His smile was sad; the smile of a man who had seen and experienced far too much to ever return to the way he was before. He looked about the same age as Fai, if only a little younger, and his skin had a colorless, sallow look to it. The only difference between the two was that the other had both of his eyes, while Fai only had one._

_Fai mouthed wordlessly at this mirror image of him. Feelings of sadness and guilt rushed into him, as well as a powerful longing. He knew exactly what he was seeing, but he did not want to believe it. Believing it would mean remembering what he had tried so hard to forget._

_The man took a small step forward and locked his eyes with Fai's remaining one._

"_You shouldn't be here," the other said, a slight frown betraying the smile he held on his face, "Yuui, you can't be here."_

_The mage gaped still, seemingly unaware that the other had just spoken. Slowly, his mouth formed a single word._

"_Fai."_

Tomoyo sat seiza beside the tatami mat, her head bowed silently. She slowly released Fai's cold, limp hand from her own and laid it on his stomach. Sakura sat beside her, not even bothering to hold back the tears that dripped quietly down her cheeks. Mokona and Modoki stood inside the doorframe as they watched Tomoyo pull the blanket up to cover Fai's torso. Neither of the children cried, but their eyes were empty of all emotion, controlled.

"He just…. died," Sakura whispered softly, "Like he just gave up. It's not like Fai-kun at all."

Tomoyo kept her head bowed and her eyes closed. Finally, her decision made, she stood and looked at Mokona and Modoki.

"You two," she said, "Go tell Souma-san what has happened. She will know what to do. Sakura-chan," she looked down at the tearful girl, "Please tidy away the medicine and bandages. They will have no use now." She turned to follow the twins, who had already left the room.

"Tomoyo-hime," Sakura called quietly after her, "What about… what about Kurogane-san?"

Tomoyo did not meet her eyes. "What do you mean?"

The jade-eyed girl swallowed and glanced down at Fai again. "Kurogane-san, he'll want to know that Fai….is," she shivered and looked up at Tomoyo with a controlled, determined look on her face, "Kurogane-san will want to know about Fai."

A pained smile formed on the princess' face. "That job I have chosen to do myself," she whispered.

"What do you think he will do?"

Sakura and Tomoyo both looked at each other, and then at Fai's body. "One never knows," Tomoyo replied, "Kurogane isn't as predictable as he used to be."

"_Fai," the mage whispered, bewildered, "You're… dead."_

_Fai smiled miserably. "So are you," he replied, his comment resulting in a hoarse chuckle from his brother._

"_I didn't have a choice."_

_Fai's smile flew off of his face as quickly as it came. "Yuui… Why did you come here?"_

_Yuui flinched inwardly as he remembered. His feelings for Kurogane; the pain it would cause for both of them. That it already_ had_ caused. Ashura and Syaoran… the victims of the man they served under. He was the reason why all this had happened._

"_I had to run," he said, "I had to run again."_

_Fai looked into Yuui's eyes, locking his gaze once more. The white mist surrounded them until there was nothing left to see. Everything went silent as the small noises were cushioned by the blanket of nothing that filled Yuui's mind._

_The silence was overwhelming, pounding in his eardrums, reverberating in his brain. The mist seemed to be inside of him, clearing away all conscious thought. Memories flashed by like a jumble of half-read thoughts; one part of him could see them, the other couldn't. Snow and blood and kind, smiling faces that turned sour. Darkness and unfamiliar sights, a scowling face that held so much behind fiery eyes. Ashura stood before him, his smile never reaching his cold, dark eyes. Kurogane stood before him, a smile on his face; the smile reserved for Yuui, when he had been Fai…_

"_NO!" _

_Yuui was jerked out of his thoughts with a sharp pain in his chest. The mist was clearing away, and he could now see his brother clearly; his face was calm, as though he had not just witnessed what had happened._

_A trembling hand covered Yuui's eyes as cold sweat beaded his forehead. He didn't want to have to remember… he had run so he wouldn't have to remember. Death was his only option, but if the memories remained? There would be no point in either scenario._

"_You still have a choice," Fai said, when Yuui had regained control, "You can go back."_

_Yuui frowned. He had already made his choice; there was no way to bring back the dead. The most that could be done would be to re-animate the corpse with a substitution, but he knew Kurogane would never do that. Once the soul crossed over the line of life and death, it could never be brought back. _

"_I can't go back, I'm already…" Yuui trailed off as he slowly began to realize why he couldn't move._

"_A wish," Fai began, "Is a delicate thing. Dead or alive, one can still wish, and with the power of that wish one can find their way to granting that wish. Even through different dimensions, if necessary." Fai paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "'To those who know it, the worlds are infinitely large.' …. That is what she said to me. But with the power of that wish, there also comes a price."_

_Yuui looked around at the mist; it seemed to whisper secrets now, hiding things from him like he was a small child from which an adult was hiding a toy. If he was dead, then why had he not yet moved on from this place? "Are you saying that your wish is what is keeping me here?"_

"_Yes. It was my wish."_

"_That doesn't make sense," Yuui whispered, "Why would you want to keep me here?"_

_Fai shook his head, letting his eyelids fall so his blue irises were hidden. "Did you ever actually take the time to look at what you were leaving behind, Yuui?" He opened his eyes once more, this time looking over a point past Yuui's shoulder._

_Confused, Yuui turned around, searching for the thing his brother saw. The mist blurred the forms in the distance, and the mage squinted hard, trying to make out the shapes._

_He counted five; they varied in size, but were still relatively tall. As the mist slowly began to clear, the mage saw that the five forms were people. The shapes began to sharpen, and were becoming recognizable one by one._

_The first person to come into view was a young girl with short, brown hair and jade eyes; Sakura. Her eyes were bright, and a warm, welcoming smile graced her face. Beside her, the others began to progressively take shape. Tomoyo stood beside her, only just slightly shorter than Sakura. Holding on to either hand was Mokona, and then Modoki, both girls with grins on their faces that suggested mischief._

_But Yuui's eyes were drawn to the person who stood behind the rest. _

_He was the tallest, with a distinguishable slouch and spiky black hair. And though his back was turned, Yuui could almost see the details of his face. He turned, ever so slightly, and scarlet orbs flashed brightly against the filmy pallid vapor._

_Kurogane stood with his back turned and looked over his shoulder, his face full of despondent betrayal. He didn't seem to see Yuui or anyone else. Instead, he turned his head away again and began to slowly walk into the distance._

"_No…" Yuui's voice was choked by the dense air, the word hardly a whisper. "I did it to save you, Kurogane." He tried to take a step forward, but his legs remained stiff and inert. "I didn't want you to get hurt!" His voice grew louder with fear and misunderstanding, but his words were swallowed by the endless mist._

"_KUROGANE!"_

_But his words were not heard by anyone other than himself. Kurogane continued his pace as he grew ever distant, vanishing into the abyss until he faded into the illusion he had come from._

"_Kurogane…"_

_Yuui choked back tears, emitting a painful dry sob as his throat contracted, making it hard to breathe. He had to make Kurogane understand why he left, why it was too dangerous if he stayed alive. He didn't want to be the cause of any more pain._

_But was he sure he wouldn't cause even more pain with his death?_

"_You have to go back, Yuui," Fai said from behind him, "You won't solve anything this way."_

_Nothing can be solved by running away from a problem, can it?_

"_I can't go back now," Yuui muttered, "I'm already dead."_

"_The body is still alive, just empty. It's the soul that really matters."_

_The mage frowned slightly, perplexed. He knew enough about death to know that once the soul had passed into the other world, it could never come back. One's soul could not be forced back from death, so how could his be? Unless where Fai was holding him was…_

"_Then, if I haven't passed over, where am I?" Yuui turned around and stared into his brother's face, searching his expression for a clue to the answer._

"_You're neither here nor there," Fai replied, "You are at the Border of two different dimensions, as was my wish."_

_Yuui inhaled sharply. The Border… it should have been impossible for any soul to stay here for a prolonged amount of time. Whoever had granted Fai's wish must have been powerful. "So you mean to say that I still have the choice between going back and moving on?"_

"_The choice is entirely up to you," Fai concurred, "I can only hope my wish was not in vain."_

_Yuui thought about what he had left behind; his sadness and pain, his past that he had hidden for so long. If he moved on, he would forget everything that had aggrieved him in the past. But the image of Kurogane remained unbidden in his mind; his back turned, walking slowly away from him. Kurogane, whom had stayed beside him for so long, who ran looking for him when he left. Kurogane, whom was concerned for him when he had been injured so deeply. Kurogane, whom Fai had kissed so warmly once before, and had responded with an equal tenderness._

_Kurogane, whom he loved._

"_I… want to go back," the mage whispered softly, "I won't run anymore."_

_Fai smiled at him; a sad smile full of hope and kindness, a bittersweet smile. "Then you should go."_

_A feeling of lightheadedness enveloped Yuui, and then as quickly as it had come, it was gone. The mage took a step forward, his boots making a soft padding noise in resistance to the thick mist. His movements were no longer restricted, and he turned away from his brother and began to swiftly move back to where the illusionary Kurogane had disappeared, all but breaking into a run. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Fai still standing where the mage had left him. He continued to smile in his sad, pained way._

_Yuui slowed slightly, still looking over his shoulder at his brother. He stopped and turned. Fai had done all this for him, and yet he didn't seem to expect anything in return. Was there something else Fai was hiding from him?_

"_Fai… Even though I'm leaving…"_

_Fai tilted his head slightly in response to the question. "What do you mean, Yuui?"_

"_What's going to happen to you?"_

_Fai looked down, hiding the look on his face from his brother. His voice became quiet and serious. "My wish was no small wish… I will have to pay the price."_

_Yuui grew uneasy at the mention of the price. How much had Fai sacrificed for him to save his life? "What was the price, Yuui?" He asked, dreading the answer._

_His brother looked up again, his smile back in place. A smile Yuui had worn for so long he could see right past it. _

"_I will not move on to the next life," he murmured, "I will remain on the Border forever, or at least until I am one with it. I didn't tell you before… because I wanted you to make the choice on your own."_

_Yuui could not speak. He had no need to speak; everything that he meant to say could be seen in his bright blue eye. And Fai understood._

_Fai still smiled, as though his future did not affect him at all, and extended an arm, reaching out towards his brother. _

"_Please… Go."_

_Yuui turned and let the mist envelop him, carrying him back to where he belonged. _

_A small teardrop lingered behind, hanging suspended in the air before evaporating into the soft mist._

Kurogane stood beside Fai's bedside, staring down at the mage's face. Souma had moved Fai into his room; she didn't have the heart to move him anywhere else.

Tomoyo had confronted the ninja at the front gate, but one glance at him and she knew that he did not need to be told. Kurogane had felt Fai's heartbeat cease, felt his soul depart through the connection they had shared. At least he did not need to hear the words spoken aloud, as much as it didn't make a difference.

Reaching with his left arm, Kurogane touched Fai's cheek with a gentle hand. Fai felt icy against his own hand; the ninja had known he would, but he still flinched at the touch. Now that he thought about it, there was one part of the mage that had still survived. Kurogane's arm had been made from the mage's own magic… but it was cold, like the rest of Fai was. The magic seemed to have died with Fai, and even though it still functioned, there was no warmth. No longer there, just like the mage.

"You didn't even give me a chance to be there," Kurogane whispered, "Dammit, you stupid mage, you could have held on a little longer. The one time you decide not to be stubborn." Kurogane chuckled hoarsely. "I suppose it'll be the last time, won't it?"

"_Stupid of me to expect an answer,"_ Kurogane thought, and then said aloud, "I just half expect you to wake up and start poking fun at me for thinking you were dead, or something like that… You and your god damn nicknames."

He could have sworn he saw the slightest smile creep onto the mage's face when he said that. But there was no point in trying to deceive himself, was there?

Kurogane hated having to look into Fai's face with the realization that he would never see another smile, another laugh, on the mage's face again. There was no more essence of life left in the magician, no feeling of charisma that usually radiated from him.

And yet he could not bear to look away, because he knew this was the last time he would be able to see the mage properly. He had to take in every detail and store it away in his memory. He had to look at Fai and tell himself that at least he had no troubles anymore, that Fai was free. He let that thought fill his mind, because if he stopped, he would remember. He would remember how the mage loved him, and he would break. Because he should have known before. If he had known before, it could have all been avoided.

Hitsuzen. In his language it meant destiny. He did not want to believe that this was all hitsuzen, that Fai's death had been planned.

Kurogane moved his hand up to stroke Fai's soft hair. Even if it was hitsuzen, he knew that he was not destined to follow the mage. Fai wouldn't have liked it, anyway. He would have wanted Kurogane to continue living, because Kurogane would have wanted Fai to continue to live if he had died. They would meet again, eventually.

He bent over and pulled something out of his cloak, placing it in Fai's hands. His lips touched the mage's forehead lightly, and he stood up after a few seconds, revealing the three stuffed animals that Fai now held in his arms.

"See you around, Fai."

The red-eyed man's fingertips lingered for a moment on Fai's cool cheek, and he turned his gaze away.

Gritting his teeth, Kurogane forced himself to turn completely around, and he began to head for the door. An odd gleam shone in his crimson eyes, as if he had been reborn with a new vigor, and his fists were clenched in rage.

He would not return to watch the funeral; there was no need for him to. As far as he was concerned, he had one purpose now. He was going to find Ashura, no matter what it took, and end the war. He would destroy the thing that had been the cause to the end of Fai's life.

He would get revenge.

As he reached out for the doorknob with his hand, he paused. Kurogane had felt something, like a twinge, resonate inside of him for a brief moment. He closed his eyes, trying to search out the feeling again. It was faint, but the feeling was there; a light pulse, not his own heartbeat, but one slow beat, like one would feel when awakening from slumber.

The feeling was gone, but Kurogane thought he felt his arm tremble lightly. A warmth enveloped his body; like what he had felt before the mage's death had occurred. He shook his head to clear his mind; there was no point in trying to trick himself now. Slowly, he began to turn the doorknob, and the door creaked open slightly…

"Leaving so soon, are we?"

Kurogane's eyes widened, his hand tightening around the doorknob. He could hardly bring himself to turn around, for the thought that if he did, his illusion would be dispelled. But he could not stop himself from turning his head, just enough so who he could see who had spoken. The owner of the voiced lay on the bed, one blue eye opened weakly, gazing back at the ninja.

Kurogane stared wordlessly at Fai, who somehow lay alive smiling in bed, though he had only been dead a few moments ago. The ninja did not feel himself moving, but in mere seconds he stood beside the mage's bed, his hand reluctantly reaching out, as though if he touched him the mage would disappear. Fai reached out and grasped Kurogane's hand weakly, lacing his pale, slender fingers with the ninja's strong tan ones.

"Fai…"

Fai grinned up at him feebly, tightening his grip on Kurogane's hand. Kurogane was somewhere between a state of shock and denial, trying to understand, trying to take in everything that seemed to be happening. He fell down on his knees beside the bed, trembling, and held up a shaky hand, cupping it around Fai's cheek. The mage was still cold, but he felt alive at the same time.

The mage only smiled, placing his other hand over Kurogane's. "Good morning… Kurogane."

Kurogane remained still, disbelieving.

Fai was alive.

Fai was _alive_.

A small, relieved chuckle escaped from the ninja's lips. And then another. Slowly, a wry grin formed its way slightly across Kurogane's face. He pulled himself back from the mage sharply as his chuckles gave way to a laugh.

Kurogane held his head in shaky hands, a wave of incredulity and relief washing over him once more. The laughs began to crescendo into insane hysterics, until his entire body was shaking in an effort to keep himself under control. He could hardly breathe from lack of air, and he could feel his eyes growing hot. Choking back a sob, Kurogane grit his teeth in an attempt to hold back the tears that welled up in the corners of his eyes.

He felt something warm wrap around his shoulders, and he did not need to look up to know that Fai had put his arms around him. He returned the gesture without hesitance, holding onto Fai for support as tears streamed down his face.

The mage's hands held Kurogane's quivering body still, protecting and reassuring him. He stroked the ninja's hair softly, calming the man down so that his body stilled a little, though his breaths still came in uneven gasps.

"Fai… Fai," he murmured.

Fai continued to stroke Kurogane's hair, his hand beginning to tremble slightly. He pressed his lips against the top of the ninja's head, nuzzling him softly. Kurogane shuddered in response and clutched to Fai desperately, searching for comfort in the mage. Fai began to slowly move his hand around Kurogane's back in calming circles. Neither spoke, because each had an idea of what the other was thinking.

After some time, Kurogane's breaths slowed enough where he could speak without the need to inhale sharply after every word. He closed his eyes as he snuggled his head into Fai's chest, inhaling deeply, breathing in every scent.

"Fai… I love you…."

The mage paused for a moment, his body growing rigid, and then slowly relaxing once more. He did not say anything for a while, and Kurogane was afraid he had said something wrong. Fai shivered, only enough so the ninja could barely feel it. Was Fai going to end up running again, like he had tried to so many times before?

When Fai replied, his words were filled with such emotion that his voice trembled and nearly broke, almost inaudible to even Kurogane's keen ears.

"I love you too, Kurogane."

It was not until he noticed that the tears that ran fresh down his cheeks were not his that Kurogane realized Fai was crying, too.

* * *

I managed to work Yuko into the plotline! Although you don't see her directly... she's the one who granted the real Fai's wish.

I hate it when grown men cry. Unless it's for Yaoi, of course! A depressing but happy chapter, I'd say. R&R pweeeaaase? holds out cookie


	14. Chapter 14: Past and Present

I'm back! I would never abandon all my trusted readers ^^ (If I have any left by now...) I've got a couple of guest appearances from xxxHolic for all you lovely fans, I being one myself. I'm not quite sure yet if I'm going to have them become regulars or not, but they'll probably pop up now and again!

Fai: Oooh, there's a new chapter! Finally!

Kurogane: So many sub-plots... gahh, the more I read, the more confusing it is!

Watanuki: It's CLAMP Syndrome.

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Chapter 14: Past and Present

Fai slid open the door to the main hallway, stepping on cat feet into the dimly lit room. The feeble morning light was barely strong enough for Fai to see where he was going and he had to be careful not to bump into anything or make a noise; he didn't want anybody waking up and questioning his being there, especially since he was supposed to be dead. Anybody who did see him would probably call Kurogane down as well (he had left Kuro-sama sleeping in his room), and he didn't want to have to face that seventh level of Hell. Kurogane would probably accuse him of trying to run away and this time Fai would _really _end up dying.

Besides a rather painful episode that included the collision of his toe and a stone pot, Fai made it over to the other side of the hallway with no confrontations. He groped at the wall half-blinded, trying to feel for the outline of the double doors that led out to the garden. Eventually he grasped hold of a handle and pulled, slowly sliding open one of the doors. The cool morning air rushed to greet him, and he breathed it in with relish.

Outside, the sun was just beginning to rise up above the red horizon. Pink and orange clouds hovered lazily just above the ground, and overhead the blue night sky could still be seen. The pale outline of the waning moon shone over the treetops, as though trying to cling as long as it could to its last moments of life. _"I know how you feel, my friend."_ Fai thought, and shivered, pulling his coat around him for warmth. _"I know all too well…"_

He walked along a stone stepping path that led through a bamboo grove, watching his breath as it came out in icy puffs of dragon smoke. To be able to breathe in the fresh, crisp air again was a relief. God knows he had enough to deal with; it was nice to indulge in the little things every now and again.

Frosty blades of grass crunched beneath his feet, breaking the silence with a snap of a whip. The stone path had ended, and he was now walking towards the pond at the center of the grove.

Another noise joined in with the crackling of grass, faint at first, but growing in strength as he grew closer to the pond. _"It sounds like someone humming."_ Fai frowned to himself and slowed. He didn't want to meet up with anybody here; nobody knew about Fai's "rebirth" yet, as he and Kurogane had agreed that the news might be better to deliver later that morning. Carefully turning the bend, he peered through the bamboo stalks at the pond. Besides the stone dragons, there was nothing else to be seen… but nonetheless, the humming was there. The tune was sad and slow: it reminded him of the traditional songs that were played at funerals back in Celes. Craning his neck to see, Fai took a step forward, and then another. There was still no one there. Maybe he had imagined the humming? Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind, he abandoned his hiding spot behind the bamboo and stepped out into the open.

Suddenly the source of the noise became visible. Sakura, previously concealed by one of the great stone dragons, had moved out at the exact same time as Fai, humming as she did. Glancing up briefly at Fai, she turned away nonchalantly, as though she did not recognize him.

But then the humming stopped and Sakura whipped around, revealing wide jade eyes that were bright with fright and joy and sadness. Her lips parted, silently forming his name, and she dropped the handful of lilies that she had been holding. Tears welled up in her eyes and she brought her hands up to her mouth.

Fai, shocked at first, could only gape back at her. Although Sakura would have found out eventually, he hadn't meant to meet with anyone like this. But it seemed that laying low wasn't an option anymore, and there was no point in running. He could not think of anything else to do, so instead he smiled warmly at her, presenting a short bow as he used to do whenever he met with her. "O-ohayo gozaimasu, Sakura-hime."

Sakura hiccupped, tears flowing freely down her face now. But the corners of her mouth slowly began to form a shocked smile, as though she still couldn't believe what she saw. "Fai-san…" she muttered. "Fai!!"

A quick movement in the shadows caught Fai's eye. "Sakura-chan!" he shouted, but was too slow to do anything else. A flash of daggers streamed through the air, invisible except for the reflections of sunlight that glinted off the blades. Whistling past Sakura as she stood frozen with fear, they dug down into the ground in front of Fai, preventing him from moving any closer to the brunette. As the last of the daggers embedded itself in the earth, their attacker became apparent. Dressed from head to toe in a black cloak, his face covered by a hood, the attacker stood directly in front of Sakura, arm thrown out and facing Fai as though defending the girl. But in his right hand was a sword, flicked back at Sakura's throat as if to say, "Move any closer and I'll kill the girl."

"_I have to get her out of here,"_ Fai thought, racking his brains for any means of escape for both of them. Before he had any time for planning, however, another shower of daggers rained down upon him. He flipped gracefully out of the way, landing in a squatting position before catapulting out of the way of another handful of daggers. This time, a figure in the same black cloak as the other dropped down from the sky, sporting the same sword as the first. He swung the sword and nearly sliced Fai's midsection open if not for Fai's cat-like reflexes, which moved him out of the way in time.

The next swing was a closer miss than the first; the size of Fai's bulky coat was slowing him down. Spinning to avoid another lash with the sword, Fai shrugged out of the coat and grabbed it by one sleeve, whipping it around at his aggressor as he spun to face him again. The long end of the coat twirled up and wrapped around the blade of the sword. Fai grounded himself, digging his back foot down into the earth, and pulled. Both the coat and the sword flew into the air; the coat landed on top of the bamboo stalks, and the sword fell into the dragon pond, sinking down to the bottom. Now that his assailant was disarmed, the fight could turn to his favor. Leaping forward, Fai spun again and kicked out with his leg, coming in contact with the attacker's arm as he blocked the kick. Just in time, he saw a movement from where Sakura stood, and vaulted himself back to avoid the thrust of a second sword, this time from the original attacker. "Sakura-chan, RUN! Get Kurogane!" he yelled, not daring to look to see if she had followed his order for fear he would let his defenses down.

Now both of his assassins came at him, one slicing and jabbing with the sword, the other kicking and trying to get Fai to fall to his feet. They each worked in perfect harmony, as though they could communicate through thoughts; neither blocking each other's shots nor obscuring their view. It was growing increasingly difficult to parry the bombardment of kicks and slashes, and virtually impossible to attack one of his foes without putting himself in the direct line of attack for the other. The one with the sword moved to the left and abruptly vanished; Fai's eyepatch, his blind spot, made him that much easier of a target. _"Damn it!"_ Fai gritted his teeth and kicked off to the right, leaping blindly away from a sword invisible to him. But he felt its blade skim along the surface of his arm, slicing through the thin material of his tunic and breaking the delicate pale skin deep into the shoulder.

Fai slammed into one of the stone dragons and slumped, his legs shaking weakly, barely able to hold up the frail body. He was outnumbered with no weapons, with a blind spot and a now useless arm. Clutching his shoulder, he inhaled sharply and looked up. The two in black had halted their assault, as though they were waiting for his next move. Fai, panting heavily, considered his options while he could. It had been at least five minutes since Sakura had escaped: at least he didn't see her anywhere in the vicinity. But how long would it be before she could return with help? And could he hold up for as long as it took? His muscles were still weak from the last battle with Ashura, and as long ago as it had been, it had still taken its toll— both physically and emotionally.

Fai's arm was beginning to grow numb; he gripped it tightly. Lightning pain shot up through the limb, jolting him back to his senses. He thought quickly. If he were to have any chance of overcoming them, he would have to use that, as much as he didn't want to.

The mage stood up straighter and the assassins snapped to their offensive positions, watching intently for his next attack. Fai closed his eye, momentarily clearing his mind and collecting himself. He breathed deeply in and exhaled out.

In.

Out.

In…

He jerked forward almost involuntarily and launched himself towards the attackers with lightning speed. As he leaped a gust of magical energy grew about him: he threw his arm out as he ran and the wind grew bigger, stronger, until it encircled the glade in which they stood. It beat against the assassins harshly, throwing them both off guard and off balance. With one kick he disabled the swordless one, who doubled over in pain as the foot came in contact with his soft stomach. Fai quickly switched legs and spun with the momentum of the first kick, lashing out at the second assassin, but was met with nothing but thin air: the second figure had managed to regain his footing and had moved back and away from Fai once more, regaining his guard.

Fai raised his arm and began to draw rapid symbols in the air. They spiraled together to form a shimmering blue sphere of light. With a flourish of his wrist he struck the ball with his palm and it flew towards the assassin, crackling and spitting magical energy as it went. The assassin leapt out of the way of Fai's magic, but was too slow to prevent the excess energy from searing his sword arm. He lunged at Fai recklessly, swinging the sword clumsily with his damaged arm, and Fai sidestepped out of the way.

The second assassin had recovered from the earlier blow and was now rushing forward to take over the attack, drawing a hidden dagger from beneath his cloak. He clicked a button on the hilt and the dagger extended, the metal clinking into place to form another sword. He swiped. Fai dodged, barely keeping his distance, and drew a single symbol in the air, which grew and split into small daggers of light that propelled themselves towards the assassin. The assassin took the full brunt of the attack once more and flew back, but did not double over in pain as he had before. Instead he withstood the energy from Fai's light daggers and came once again to attack. The other joined him, both rushing forward to meet Fai.

Instinct seemed to take over as Fai once again began to trace patterns in the air frantically. His arm was a blur as the symbols that poured from his fingertip weaved about him, flashing. The symbols began to spiral and cross in the air, forming a domed web of dancing letters. One of the attackers slowed and came to a halt, cautious, but the other continued forward. Feverishly, Fai continued to draw out the pattern in the air, using each precious second to create a new part of his magical net. The assassin swung his sword in a wide arc just as Fai finished the last symbol.

White-hot energy blasted forth from the completed barrier just before the sword found its mark, and the assassin was engulfed in glaring light. The sword melted and shattered into hundreds of pieces as the figure seemed to dissolve in midair, ripped to shreds. Blasted back by the force of his own attack, Fai groped against a wall of bamboo as he struggled to stay upright, watching as rays of blue light illuminated the glade. The remains of the assassin dropped slowly to the ground amidst a sparkling of broken metal, reflecting the light like mirrors.

The light faded, leaving both Fai and the other attacker slightly dazed, but on guard. Then, as though his remaining strength had dissipated with the light, Fai fell to his knees, no longer able to support himself. _"Too much energy at once,"_ he thought blearily as he watched the other assassin fly toward him, black cloak and hood ripped to shreds by Fai's barrier, revealing spiky brown hair that whisked about in the dying wind, _"Sorry Fai… Maybe we shouldn't have let Kurogane get his hopes up. Or mine, for that matter…"_

The sword made a sickening, blood splattering sound as it speared through human flesh.

But the expected pain didn't come, and neither did the blackness that was supposed to follow. Fai blinked against his blurry vision, trying to clear it. In front of him stood Syaoran; the same Syaoran who had attacked him twice before, the one who had stood by Ashura's side surrounded by flames and demons. His arm was raised in an attacking position, sword poised and ready to come down on Fai, but he did not move. Syaoran's hazel eyes were widened in shock, and Fai followed their gaze down to a sword that was impaled in the boy's gut: a sword that looked distinctly familiar…

"Kurogane."

It seemed Sakura had wasted no time in getting help. Kurogane pulled the sword out sharply; Syaoran fell to the ground with a soft "thump", his hand loosening on the handle of his sword. Then, as though Kurogane had just noticed him, he looked at the mage. His red eyes flashed angrily down at Fai, glaring at him with suppressed rage and… hurt? Anguish? Fai was spared the antagonizing feeling by a shout off in the distance.

"Fai-san! Kurogane-san!" Tomoyo and Sakura ran up to them; Tomoyo halted suddenly, her gaze fixated on Fai. "How did…" But she looked away instead, her question catching in her throat.

Sakura ran past her, Kurogane sidestepping the jade-eyed girl as she crouched down by the unconscious Syaoran's side. Tomoyo followed behind, gazing over Sakura's shoulder at the boy. Sakura's eyes were misted over with pain and confusion. She knew this boy, cared for him, but she could not remember why. All she knew is that she did not want him to die. Helplessly she gazed up at Tomoyo, pleading with her tear-ridden eyes. The black-haired princess kneeled down beside Sakura, examining Syaoran's wound. Her hand hovered over the hole in his stomach which, surprisingly, wasn't bleeding too badly. Her gaze wandered up to Kurogane. "You missed the vital spots on purpose, didn't you?" He met her eyes for a moment and looked away. When Kurogane didn't respond after a few seconds, she turned to Sakura, who was still watching her hopefully. "If we can get him some medical attention soon he'll be fine," she said, smiling softly, "His wounds aren't too serious."

Sakura relaxed, smiling back at the hime. Behind them was another sound: four guards had just arrived, summoned by Souma to help Princess Tomoyo. They too stared at Fai, but only for a moment before snapping to attention at Tomoyo's weary glance.

"You two," she pointed to the two larger guards, "help Sakura-chan bring this boy to the healers – have Mokona and Modoki patch him up, and then put him in one of the spare rooms to recover," she ordered. Both bowed and moved forward, gingerly picking up the fallen body and carrying it back to the palace. Sakura nodded gratefully at Tomoyo and Kurogane, taking one last look at Fai and smiling apologetically, before turning and hurrying after the guards.

The other assassin lay in pieces, shattered on the rocks by the pool. But despite the scattered limbs there was no blood at all. Kurogane walked over to it and rolled the torso over with his foot; the head, attached just barely by the remnants of a metal spine, rolled over with it to reveal Syaoran's blank face. Kurogane stared back at it with the same indifference.

Fai bent over the clone, examining it closely. Tomoyo came up from behind Kurogane, peering around him at the fallen body. "What is it?" she asked the ninja.

"A mechanical body," Fai answered for him, standing up and looking at the princess, "But it's controlled by magic— there are no gears or anything that have the capability to move the entire body so fluidly." He gave Kurogane a knowing glance, and Kurogane nodded back.

"Ashura," he growled.

Tomoyo motioned to the two remaining guards, who appeared by her side. "Bring the body inside and give it to the lab. Tell them to find the energy transmitter and study it; whatever they have, we want to know how it works and how much of a threat it is."

As the guards disappeared, she turned all her attention to Fai. Kurogane too, looked him over as though he were expecting something. Fai looked at his feet, unable to meet either of their gazes.

"It seems," Tomoyo said softly, "that there is a lot of explaining to do." She raised her eyebrow at Kurogane who scoffed and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. She knew that the ninja had something to do with it: he had reacted in a completely different way than Tomoyo would have expected if he had only just seen Fai alive for the first time. There had been no shock in his eyes upon seeing the mage, only suppressed anger and betrayal. As though Fai had almost stripped him of something he cherished. Tomoyo shook her head slightly and peered at Fai. "You'd better get that bandaged, Fai-kun." She pointed at his arm, from which a trickle of blood was slowly curving it's way down and dripping on the already bloodied grass.

Fai started and looked at his shoulder, as though he had forgotten that it was there. Kurogane shot a glance too, his eyes slit-like and glowering. "Ye-yeah." Fai covered the wound with his hand, pretending that if nobody had seen it, it might not even be there.

But like many things that still remained hidden, there was no denying its existence.

* * *

Fai squirmed as Chii, an understudy healer, slowly wrapped the bandage around his arm, tying it tight so it would not go slack. His arm was throbbing uncomfortably under the pressure of the gauze, but that was not what was bothering him. In fact, he hardly noticed as Chii finished tying the knot and leaned back into her chair.

"Fai-kun?"

Fai jumped slightly, blinking in surprise.

"Chii is done now, Fai-kun can go…" she tilted her head in confusion, light blonde hair falling into her face, "Unless Fai-kun is still feeling sick?"

Laughing sardonically, Fai shook his head. "No, thank you Chii," he smiled and patted her head. She smiled back at him. Chii was very shy— sometimes even shyer than Sakura, her teacher, but one of the things that had made her perfect for the role of a healer was her bedside manner; sometimes, all she had to do was smile at the patient and they would begin to feel better. Tomoyo had called it part of her "inner magic".

The door to the healers' ward slid open, and Souma stepped in. She took the time to bow slightly at Chii before addressing Fai crisply, "Tomoyo-hime has requested a meeting within her chamber; the scientists have found traces of magic that may be of great importance in the battle against Ashura." Her voice dropped to a quieter tone. "The hime has requested that I escort you there. She has a few questions to ask you concerning your recent… reappearance."

She looked slightly apprehensive, an unusual emotion for the ever-placid ninja. Fai nodded slowly and stood up, taking his tunic from Chii's hands and smiling wearily at the confused girl. He slipped on the tunic as Souma stepped back and motioned at the door with a "you first" gesture and he took her lead, walking out into the corridor.

The door slid shut behind Fai with an oddly loud bang, and he noticed that the corridor was deserted. It struck him as strange: it was nearly noon and that was usually the busiest time of the day. As he and Souma made for the conference hall, he noticed that most all of the corridors were empty save a few servants rushing between rooms.

Pondering this, Fai turned a corner and ran right into a servant girl who was carrying a basket of fresh-laundered kimonos. The basket flew into the air and kimonos tumbled out, littering the ground around them. Fai, who had fallen to the floor, looked up to see the servant frantically trying to gather the kimonos and fill the basket with them again. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Fai apologized and began to help her load the basket.

She shook her head and continued to grab at the kimonos. "No, no, it's all my fault! I'm so sorry… Himawari-san will be cross with me… I was supposed to have done this at least a half an hour ago. She'll be late to leave with the wagons…" Fai held out a golden kimono embroidered with bamboo and she reached for it absentmindedly. "Thank you, thank y—"

She caught his eye and gave an audible gasp, nearly dropping the basket she held under her arm. Jumping up, she snatched the golden kimono from his hand, pushed past Souma, and ran off down the passageway, disregarding the few kimonos that still lay scattered upon the floor. Fai leapt up and reached after her almost as a reflex, shouting, "Wait!" But the servant girl had disappeared.

Fai stared off into the distant hallway, his face blank. None of the servants had ever been afraid of him before: what had changed? His eyes turned to Souma, who glanced shiftily at him as though she knew he was looking for an explanation.

"There have been… rumors," she said distastefully, "Your rebirth was no small feat, and there were the guards who saw with their own eyes what happened to the puppet that attacked you." She shook her head, "Rumors spread quickly in the confines of the castle, and often grow to disproportionate sizes. There are some," her eyes narrowed, "who say that the appearance of Ashura's henchmen and your coming back to life were not a coincidence, and there are some who say even… that you were sent here by Ashura to take over the castle and assassinate the hime with your magic. The thing they fear most is what they don't know, and suddenly there are a multitude of things we don't know… and most of them are about you." She grimaced and shrugged, starting down the corridor again.

Fai's stomach flopped and he felt suddenly sick. He had been the victim of such rumors before, but he never had imagined that the people of Nihon would turn against him like this. These people that he had cared for so much…

An unbidden thought rose into his mind and, if possible, he felt his stomach plummet even more. Did Kurogane think these things as well? If he hadn't been so relieved at Fai being alive, would he have questioned it the way the others were questioning it now? And the way he had ripped that mechanical puppet apart with his magic; the image of Kurogane standing over him as a bloodied Syaoran fell to the ground flashed in his mind. The anger on his face had been clear then: was it anger at Fai's hidden power? Had he possibly believed that Fai _was_ Ashura's pawn? Had he regretted saving him, after seeing the destruction his magic had wrought?

With an aggressive shudder Fai snapped back to reality, and he looked around to see Souma standing halfway down the corridor, looking at him quizzically. "Coming, Fai-san?"

"Y-yes." He took a faltering step forward and stumbled. Souma raised an eyebrow but did not say anything.

The conference room was as still as the corridors: though filled with people, no one seemed to be talking. Tomoyo-hime sat at the head of a low table, with a young boy on her left-hand side. The boy (no older than 17 years) had short black hair that stuck up at odd angles, and spectacles that almost hid his two different colored eyes. In his arms, he held an odd metal-looking heart that pulsated with the same blue aura that Fai's magic did, but the light of the heart was far weaker. Beside him sat Sakura, looking slightly worried in her own kind way, but composed. Another ninja with short-cut black hair and bored looking eyes sat to the left of her, staring around the room with measured indifference; Fai could not remember seeing him before. Across from the guard sat Mokona, and on her right Modoki. Both girls were calm, but seemed to be having a worried silent conversation with their eyes. The last person, sitting seiza at Tomoyo's right hand side, glowered openly at the door.

Fai carefully avoided Kurogane's eyes as he took his place next to the guard he did not recognize. He felt the ninja's eyes follow him as he moved, but he resisted the urge to look up and instead feigned great interest in his own thumbs.

Souma likewise took the seat across from him, and looked with rapt attention to Tomoyo, her eyes rigid on the hime. The others turned to face her as well, though Fai thought he saw Kurogane's gaze flicker away from her and on him once or twice. Fai focused intently on Tomoyo's eyes.

Tomoyo cleared her throat and sat up straighter, her eyes wandering over each person in turn. Her gaze lingered on Fai and Kurogane before she spoke. "As I'm sure you all know, two of Ashura's soldiers have managed to penetrate Nihon's defenses and enter the capitol. Although both of the soldiers have been captured— one also destroyed, we are evacuating the city to the border towns of Kyoto, Osaka, and Nagasaki. Doumeki-san," she nodded to the moody-looking guard that sat beside Sakura, "has been leading the evacuation, and has chosen an elite team of ninjas to defend the inner castle. The army will stay behind as well, to defend the city and the outer palace."

She looked expectantly at Doumeki, who bowed and said quietly, but with a voice that demanded attention, "Because the two assassins were able to infiltrate the inner castle without detection, we are forced to assume that the rest of Ashura's army will be able to enter as well. The guards have tightened the outer defenses, and we have posted ninjas around lab and healer areas, as well as the designated areas Tomoyo-hime assigned." He shifted slightly, as though he were uncomfortable with the formalities. "We have yet to hear from the healer's division in this case," he addressed Sakura, "The healers must be ready, in case Ashura's men decide to attack sooner rather than later."

Sakura nodded. "We're ready. Mokona and Modoki have given instructions to the healers to prepare as many potions as they can beforehand."

Souma spoke. "Kurogane-san has informed us that Ashura has begun to recruit demons again, as he did before when he launched his assault on Suwa." Kurogane sneered as Souma continued, "Is there anything we should prepare ourselves for beforehand?"

"Yes," she replied, her eyes shifting to look at Fai, "A sample of Fai-san's blood was taken while I… healed him, and we found a poison within his blood that was keeping the wounds open. We didn't manage to make it in time before, but we've found the antidote now and…" She trailed off, leaving a small space for awkward silence.

Modoki and Mokona both piped in at the same time, "We will have produced sufficient amounts for those who are left within the next two days."

"We will distribute the antidote, and if it works— ,"Modoki said.

"—the poison should have no effect on hime's soldiers," Mokona finished.

"Very good," Tomoyo thanked them, and faced the other young boy who, Fai realized, was dressed in the black and white-trimmed cloak of the scientists. "But as well as demons, there may very well be other obstacles we must face. Watanuki-kun, I believe you and the scientists have found information on our puppet assassin?"

"H-hai," the scientist called Watanuki said. He fiddled nervously with the metal heart for a moment, turning it about in his hands before he placed it on the table. The metal contraption glowed brighter for a fraction of a second, then resumed its normal weak heartbeat.

"This was recovered from what was left of the body," Watanuki started, "It seems to be a core for the puppet; it's the thing that makes it move so fluidly."

Tomoyo frowned. "But Fai-san said that there were no gears or anything of the sort to make it move like that, and the 'heart', as you might call it, certainly isn't a gear."

Watanuki shook his head. "Forgive me, Tomoyo-hime, I should have worded it differently." He contemplated the heart. "What I meant to say was that the heart is what makes it _possible_ for the puppet to move so freely," he explained, "The heart was made as a sort of receiver for magical energy; in this case we believe it to be king Ashura's own magic it is using, which would explain why the puppet moved so smoothly: it takes a lot of magical power to control something this complex with such ease. The receiver takes the energy and converts it into movement, much like how we convert food and drink for our own energy and movement."

"So when the heart was nearly broken, it couldn't receive magical energy anymore." Kurogane's question was more in the form of a statement.

"Yes. Therefore the puppet also became dysfunctional."

Doumeki muttered something that sounded like "obviously". Watanuki opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by Tomoyo, who held out her hand in a commanding sort of manner.

"Please excuse me, Watanuki-kun, but now is neither the time nor the place. Thank you." Watanuki's head hung in embarrassment, but Fai still heard him grumbling under his breath.

Tomoyo turned to face the table at large once again. "Unfortunately, all of this new information seems only to raise more questions than it answers," she paused and shook her head wearily, "It also seems, that even after these long years of warfare, we have still managed to underestimate Ashura's abilities. There is also question of the boy— Syaoran, that we captured. The only person that seems to recognize him is Sakura-chan." She raised her eyebrows at Sakura, who took this as her cue to speak.

"He still hasn't woken," she said, "Even though the drugs we gave him should have worn off by now, and the wound wasn't serious enough to kill him. Syaoran-kun seems to be in a state of shock." Sakura looked down again, hiding her face from the rest of the group.

"But Sakura-chan, there's still something missing," Souma said. "Why do you seem to know him, even though he's shown no indication of knowing you? And no one else knows him… he has never been seen in the city before, nor anywhere else in the neighboring towns."

Sakura remained silent, thinking over her answer carefully. When she spoke, it was with carefully chosen words. "There are still many things that I do not remember from my life before the castle. For me, this has been my only life. But when I saw that boy, Syaoran-kun…" Her eyebrows creased. "I don't know why I remember him, but I do. I just _know_. He was special to me. He wasn't a bad person." Her voice rose, as though afraid that they might not believe her. "When he attacked us the first time, I saw it. His eyes… they were blank, as though he didn't know what he was doing!"

"He was crying."

The others turned to look at Fai, each with their own different expression of surprise on their faces. He hadn't spoken until now. Fai looked at everybody but Kurogane.

"When Ashura attacked and set the… forest on fire, the demons attacked and I blacked out," he said softly, "But I remember seeing one thing, just vaguely, before I did. Syaoran-kun had been there, standing next to Ashura-sama. They disappeared, but I saw Syaoran-kun's face. There were tears running down his cheeks."

Fai could feel Kurogane's eyes on him as though the ninja were trying to see into his mind by nothing but sheer willpower. He looked at Tomoyo and said clearly, "I do not believe that Syaoran-kun is working for Ashura-sama of his own will. I've known magic to work like this before. Ashura-sama is controlling him through something, most likely something that is precious to him."

Sakura almost beamed at him, but caught herself just in time. Her eyes, however, still held a warmth that clearly showed how much she appreciated Fai's input.

Tomoyo mulled over this for a moment, resting her chin on the palm of her hand and drumming the table lightly with her fingers. She appeared to be deep in thought, and her eyes had a glassy, distanced look. Fai and the others knew not to disturb her.

Fai sat and stared at the table, immersed in a pool his own thoughts. It seemed that Sakura-chan didn't believe any of the rumors about him; she was too kind to submit to anything as sketchy as something like that, and she trusted her own judgment instead of the whisperings of other people. Souma had appeared caught between the two different mindsets. Fai considered, though, that it was her job to be wary of anything that was not Tomoyo or herself: she took her job as Tomoyo's personal bodyguard very seriously. Mokona and Modoki, of course, would trust their knowledge of Fai instead of others', as would Tomoyo. Doumeki didn't seem to care either way; on the other hand, he didn't seem to care about much of anything. Neither did Watanuki. Could he have been wrong in thinking that they would turn against him? Perhaps it was only the panic of evacuating the castle that caused these rumors to spread, like the fanning of the flames of a wildfire.

And Kurogane… Kurogane had made no indication whether or not he believed Fai to be a danger. Certainly he had made no accusations yet, but Fai was still afraid to look at him, lest he see a look of contempt on the face that he so loved…

Tomoyo sat up straight again and the table immediately snapped to attention, eyes wandering to meet hers. She coughed quietly, and spoke.

"I trust Sakura-chan's judgment: she is a good person, and I'm sure she knows a good person when she sees one." Sakura let a small smile creep across her face. "But then again, this poses even more of a danger to us. Although I'm sure that even Ashura does not have enough magic to command an army of brainwashed people, we must assume that he can handle quite a bit. The fact that he could keep Syaoran under his control whilst maneuvering the puppet shows just how much expertise he has. None of us can truly know just how powerful he is." Her mouth opened slightly but she did not say anything. Instead, she studied each person in turn, her eyes coming to rest on Fai's blue one.

"Kurogane-san told me, Fai, about your meeting with Ashura in the forest." Her eyes looked directly into his, and he found he could not pull away from her hypnotic stare. "Ashura said that you were his apprentice, and were next in line for the throne of Celes. That would mean that you were a prince, and…" She scrutinized him with her grey eyes. "You were also the closest one to Ashura while you lived in Celes."

Every eye in the room was on him now, staring, screaming silently at him for an answer. He swallowed. "Yes," he whispered, "I was."

Sakura inhaled so sharply it almost sounded like a squeak. Tomoyo closed her eyes and nodded slightly, as though this had been expected all along. Doumeki's eyes narrowed and Watanuki's widened. Mokona and Modoki both bowed their heads sadly, and Souma gave a small shudder. Kurogane seemed to be the only one who didn't react: he sat stoically and continued to look intensely at Fai, like Fai was being x-rayed.

"And you escaped?" Tomoyo finally managed to say.

"I ran away," Fai said, "After the attack on Suwa, the attack that started the war. I knew it was only a matter of time before he would want to use my magic. You see…" He drew in a deep breath. "He knew that however much magical power he had, mine would be greater."

Souma leaned forward almost halfway across the table. "So you mean, with all the power that Ashura has, the control over those puppets and brainwashing and everything else, you have _more_ magic than he does?" Her voice was skeptical.

"That's true…"

"But that also means," Watanuki interjected, "That you could have defeated him at any time, right? Why couldn't you have stopped the war before it started? It's been going on for at least three years now! You were on the run, from what I heard. Were you that afraid of him?"

"Idiot," Doumeki growled, "It's not just Ashura he has to fight against, it's his demons as well. And an army. Do you really think that one person, now matter how powerful, could stand up to thousands of enemies and come out unscathed, much less dead?"

"Y-yeah… gomenasai, Fai-san…"

Fai smiled. "It's okay, Watanuki-kun. Sometimes I thought that myself. But there are more things than people I have to battle against. Things that make it more complicated."

"Such as?"

"Well," Fai thought quickly. He couldn't lie to them now, it was too important a time. He supposed half the truth would be sufficient, "I couldn't use my magic before, otherwise Ashura-sama would have found me." It was close enough. "I think the reason he found me, the reason he sent the assassins, was because he knew I was still alive. Magic leaves traces, and when I was reborn, I suppose you could say the trail reappeared."

Tomoyo joined in. "But there is no magic to re-awake the dead," she countered. "The most you can do is animate the body. Even you couldn't have enough magic in you to do that, and how could you have if you had died? You would have no conscious thought."

"I suppose… it's because I wasn't truly dead at the time."

"The soul, sometimes, takes a certain amount of time to cross over to the world of the dead," Mokona nodded her head as though that explained everything.

Watanuki rubbed his temples in a very Kurogane-like manner. "So you're saying that Fai managed to save himself by using that time to cast the magic to bring himself back to his body? I don't get it."

"Would you have enough magic for that, even?" Souma asked Fai. "I thought you had been badly wounded."

"Sometimes, if something is wished for strongly enough, it can come true," Tomoyo smiled to no one in particular. Souma turned to her in shock.

"What? So you mean his wish to stay here kept him from dying?"

"Something like that," Tomoyo chuckled, "Just a little thing an old friend told me once, in a dream." She looked at Fai, leaving Souma to her own confused thoughts.

"If what you say is true— and I'm sure it is— that means we are in more danger while you remain here. Ashura has already proved he is willing to kill you before you can turn against him. You've also threatened him by staying in the enemy country, which gives him all the more reason to attack you before you give away all of his secrets."

She stared at him again, and he looked back knowingly. He nodded his head.

"Then I will leave." Fai stood. "I already tried to once before, but now it's time for me to leave for good. I can't put you all in more danger than you need to be in."

Surprisingly, Tomoyo laughed. Fai gaped at her, confused. Was the seriousness of their condition not obvious? He looked around, bewildered, at the others who had begun to laugh a little as well. Even Souma managed a small chuckle.

"Fai-san, do you really think it would make a difference at this point?" Tomoyo asked when she had caught her breath. "It would be cruel to leave you to Ashura's men, just for the sake of people like us!" Grinning, she looked up at him. "You are one of our greatest assets at the moment: you know more about the way Ashura thinks than all my scientists put together! No offence meant, Watanuki-kun."

"None taken, hime."

"But that's beside the point. I think there's one person in this room who would kill me if I let you go now." She peered over at Kurogane, who rolled his eyes and grunted.

"Tomoyo-hime, we should conclude the meeting," Souma chimed in, "It is nearly sunset. We must begin preparations for the guards."

"Hai hai," Tomoyo dismissed her with an airy wave of her hand. "I suppose then, we should begin to work. Watanuki-kun, if you could continue your work with the other scientists. We will need some sort of armor against the demons' claws. Sakura-chan, Moko-chan, Modo-chan, you all know what to do. And Doumeki, you and Souma will begin your debriefing of the guards and ninja forces. Make sure the castle is evacuated as well." Everybody stood up, but Kurogane continued to look at her.

"Yes," Tomoyo answered his unasked question, and he too stood to leave.

Fai's eyebrows came together. "Tomoyo-hime…"

Tomoyo shook her head. "You need to rest: you were unconscious for at least a fortnight, you know." She raised her hand when he started to protest. "Don't worry, I'll make sure that you are not left out. You still have a very important job, you know." And with that she filed out of the room behind the others.

Fai and Kurogane were suddenly the only ones left in the room. Fai rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, his eyes probing around the room.

"Hyuun… well, then, shall we go?"

"Sure."

Both of them made their way up to Fai's room in silence. Neither attempted to speak, or even look at the other. A heavy feeling hung in the air that made it hard to even walk, much less breathe, as Fai took deep gulps of the air to steady his carousaling brain.

Kurogane followed him in silently though the door, sliding it shut behind him even as Fai made his way to the doors that led to the balcony. He threw the doors wide open and caught a breeze that made his now almost shoulder-length hair, out of its usual ponytail, whip about his face. Fai leaned on the railing of the balcony and stared out over the now citizen-free city that was now what he had began to call home. From here he could see the guards rushing to their posts and the occasional black-clad ninja. He swore he could even see Souma barking out orders at a group of guards that had been dawdling. He chuckled.

Heavy footsteps padded against the carpeting of the floor as Kurogane walked across the room, stopping at a point some ten feet away from Fai. Fai continued to watch the hustle of the city. It was a while before either of them spoke.

"You're a real idiot, you know that?"

Fai smiled. Well, at least Kurogane wasn't yelling at him. He glanced over his left shoulder; an empty gesture, as his left eye was covered with the eye patch. "Yeah." He looked out at the city once more.

"You come back to life only to almost die again. You go off and don't tell me, don't tell _anyone_, where you are. Not even a note. You could have been dead. You almost were."

"Yeah."

"And all that aside…" Fai heard Kurogane take a step closer. "Your story had gaping holes in it. There's still something missing: I saw that when Ashura attacked us. There's something you're not telling, and it's affecting you badly. Even when you're telling the truth, you lie. There's no way you could have used magic to bring yourself back to life. You know that yourself."

"Yeah."

Kurogane growled. He marched up behind Fai and spun him around so he was facing him, grabbing the collar of his tunic. "Is that all you have to say?! 'Yeah'? Is that really all you can say?! After all the hell we've both been through? After I said things that I thought…" He trailed off, muttering.

Fai reached up and laid his hand gently on Kurogane's, who succumbed to the pressure and released Fai's tunic. He laid his head on Kurogane's chest in exhaustion and heaved a sigh. Kurogane made an uncomfortable noise in his throat, but held on to Fai's hand, stroking it once with his thumb.

"Don't do that again."

The mage looked up, studying Kurogane's face. "What was that, Kuro-sama? You were mumbling."

Kurogane made a small 'che' noise but said, "I said, 'Don't do that again'. Don't just go off like that. I've told you before not to do that."

A look of incredulity spread across Fai's face, swiftly covered by a small smile. "Of course not. Sorry, Kuro-daddy."

The ninja said nothing but pulled Fai closer with his free hand. Fai leaned into Kurogane once more, breathing in the scent he had come to associate with him. Kurogane's arms felt warm, loving; a favorite blanket that wrapped around him and kept him warm on cold nights, or a soft cloak that kept the snow from freezing his vulnerable heart. The steady, even breaths made him feel secure and brought about a sort of calm that he had never felt before.

Kurogane had been the only person he had ever felt this way with, it was true. Not even the love he felt for his brother Fai could compete with what he felt now. Fai had known that. Fai, whom from he had taken his identity to protect himself. Even in death, the older of the two had been as loyal as ever, keeping him from a fate that, though at one time he might have thought he deserved, seemed foolish to him now.

Kurogane. Kurogane. The name that brought him so much pain and joy at the same time. Once he had believed that they could never be together. Did he believe that now?

Of all people, Kurogane should be allowed to know the truth. Fai would have agreed, he knew. Somehow, he felt that if Kurogane were to learn his past, he would still accept him. Kurogane had said that before, hadn't he? _"I don't care."_ Maybe the words had not been as harsh as Fai had made them out to be. Maybe there had been a second meaning…

Kurogane's even breathing was all that the mage could hear as he drifted slowly off to sleep.

* * *

Kurogane sat on Fai's bed with the mage beside him, curled in a fetal position, his head in Kurogane's lap, running his fingers though Fai's silky hair idly as he stared out of the open doors and into the painted orange and red sunset. He couldn't remember when this had started feeling natural to him, but for some reason it did. Yawning, he raised one hand to his open mouth, squinting out of one eye to look at the mage's sleeping form. There was something painful written in his face, he could clearly see, but for some reason the mage's face seemed more at ease, as though a decision had been made. It was reassuring, somehow.

The ninja yawned again and wondered vaguely when he had started to become this sappy.

He had spent the past couple of hours wondering to himself about the things that Fai had said during the conference. There were obviously things he had still not told anyone: Fai had not denied that. And although he had told himself time and again that Fai's past did not matter to him, that nothing in the mage's life could possibly change his opinion about him, Kurogane still had to wonder. He sometimes wondered if it bothered him because he felt he wasn't trusted enough to know the things that had made Fai so… so… empty. Maybe it was the doubt that Fai would never really trust him enough to tell him. Certainly, he could live well enough without having to know, but there would always be that one little niggling doubt in the back of his brain, pressuring him to want to know.

He felt Fai stirring beneath his hand and moved it down to rest on the mage's side. Fai turned his head and opened his eye blearily, taking in Kurogane's face with his bright blue orb. He looked into Kurogane's eyes, slightly disoriented, before twisting himself around into a sitting position, still holding himself close to the ninja. He glanced outside and looked back at Kurogane.

"Why did you let me sleep?"

Kurogane frowned, answering, "You were tired. You needed to sleep."

"Ah."

There was a comfortable pause, and then Fai spoke again. "You stayed here the entire time."

The ninja shrugged. "Yeah. Why not?"

A smile. "Kuro-wan is spoiling me today."

Fai scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, wavering on his feet a little before finding his balance. He gazed out at the balcony as Kurogane had been doing before.

"I guess that means you don't believe the rumors, then, or you would have locked me up by now."

"What rumors?"

"That I'm really working for Ashura and I'm trying to kill all the members of the inner palace by infiltrating it and becoming friends with them so they will let down their guard."

Kurogane snorted in disgust. "What the hell? What kind of idiot would believe something like that?"

Laughing, Fai twirled around to face him. "Kuro-sama is so silly! But he also puts up with Fai, so he can't be all bad."

Kurogane half grimaced, half grinned at Fai. "What in kami's name do you expect? I told you once already, I love you." He seemed to suddenly realize what he had said, for he looked taken aback at his own words and he stared hastily in the other direction.

Fai blinked and his jaw almost dropped at the sudden words. Kurogane was always one to say what he felt, but even that seemed odd coming from the usually tough ninja. He supposed if Kurogane could say something like that straight out, Fai had been taking him slightly for granted. He hadn't expected that from the ninja

Then again, you couldn't really expect anything from the ninja Suwa no Kurogane.

Maybe Fai should be living up to his own expectations.

"Kurogane."

Kurogane looked up at the sudden use of his real name. The shining blue eye that met his red ones had a suddenly serious look to them.

"About what you said before… The 'gaping holes' in my story?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"I'll show you."

"What?"

Fai took Kurogane's left hand and intertwined their fingers; Kurogane felt a warmth spread up through his arm and weave its way through his body as the mage touched him. Fai stood up and pulled Kurogane off the bed so they were standing beside each other.

"Kurogane will always feel the same about me, no matter what."

Kurogane felt the warmth brush his heart and he felt it skip a beat. His mouth was suddenly dry, but not because he was afraid.

"So come with me. To my past."

Both men stared into each other's eyes as the world melted away around them and they were whirled away to another time, another place, another life.

* * *

Ahh~ I hope I did okay on this chapter. I was trying to fit a lot of stuff in there... I actually had to split this into two chapters (they were meant to go into Fai's past in this one).

Please review! I love your opinions! 3

~KL


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